Music Review: Time of Our Lives vs. GDFR

"Time of Our Lives" Artist: Pitbull & Ne-Yo  Album: Globalization (Pitbull) / Non-Fiction (Ne-Yo)  Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap, Dance  Label: RCA (Sony)  Release: 17 November 2014  Writers: Armando C. Pérez, Lukasz Gottwald, Henry Walter, Robin Weisse, Shaffer Smith, Vinay Rao, Stephan Taft, Michael "Freakin" Everett  Producer: Dr. Luke, Cirkut, Lifted, Michael "Freakin" Everett (melody)	"G.D.F.R" Artist: Flo Rida feat. Sage the Gemini and Lookas  Album: My House  Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap  Label: Atlantic (Warner)  Release: 21 October 2014  Writers: Tramar Dillard, Dominic Woods, Lucas Rego, Mike Caren, Andrew Cedar, Charles W. Miller, Gerald Goldstein, Harold Brown, Howard E. Scott, Justin Frank, Lee Oskar, Leroy L. Jordan, Morris Dickerson, Sylvester Allen  Producers: DJ Frank E, Andrew Cedar, Lookas, Miles Beard

2015 has been a good year for Summer songs. Heck, one of them even had the word "summer" in the title, just to drive the point home. But some of those songs were holdovers from earlier in the year which happened to have a little more staying power. For the purposes of this article, I speak of "Time of Our Lives" by Pitbull, and "G.D.F.R" by Flo Rida. Now, previously on the SDP, I did another joint review of both a Pitbull song and a Flo Rida song. Since that last review, Pitbull has become more tolerable and Flo Rida hadn't done much of anything. And now that they've had concurrent hits once again, I thought I'd challenge them to a second round, and see what's changed.

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I'll start with Pitbull's song, since he's the guy who draws in all the readers to this blog, apparently. We begin with the chorus, sung by Ne-Yo.

I knew my rent was gonna be late about a week ago
I worked my ass off, but I still can't pay it though
But I got just enough, to get off in this club
Have me a good time, before my time is up

Well this was unexpected. Our protagonist is not the usual money-spouting partying machine, but is on the verge of defaulting on his financial obligations. And sure, if you are struggling to make ends meet financially, the last thing you want to do is waste what little scratch you've managed to save up. But our protagonist has already come to terms with his destiny of not affording the month's rent, so he's going to make the most of his situation. Truly, this hook brings across the point that "Give Me Everything" or "Feel This Moment" failed to.

Surprisingly, this song does not use any samples, but non-specifically evokes the house music of the late '90s / early 2000s, such as Daft Punk's Discovery album. And while I haven't minded Pitbull's (producers') use of sampling in the past, regardless, this approach results in a slick groove. And having such relatively deep lyrics only sweetens the deal. Oh, buy you know how it is, the actual verses are just going to be the same partying and drinking routine. Might as well get this over with.

This is the last twenty dollars I got
But I'mma have a good time ballin' tonight
Tell the bartender, line up some shots
Because I'm gonna get loo-oo-oose tonight

...Eh? Pitbull actually carried the theme from the chorus into his verses? What a shocking development! Please, do go on!

She a freaky girl and I'm a freaky man
She on the rebound, broke up with her ex
And I'm like Rodman, ready on deck

And what's this now? Pitbull's hitting on a girl who isn't already in a relationship? What alternate universe have I stumbled upon where the cliches of mainstream rap do not apply? Because I'm parking myself down there and not leaving! Okay, so he does get to those cliches anyway, in pretty much all of the lyrics I haven't bothered to showcase for you readers. But it works this time around, because for once we have some context in which all his party behaviour takes place. And the clincher, the one moment which cements this song with a good impression, is the last couple of lines Pitbull adds to the end of the middle eight:

This for everybody going through tough times
Believe me, been there, done that
But everyday above ground is a great day, remember that

An inspirational statement encouraging people to stay positive? From Mr. Worldwide himself!? I guess anything's possible with the new and improved Pitbull. Now with 10% less Voli! Seriously, while the music video had a shot of that particular product placement, but the song itself is completely devoid of brand naming. And speaking of the music video, even it takes on the whole "party in the face of adversity" theme, depicting the future Mr. Worldwide holding a house party to raise rent money. All of this goes to show: if you can only write about one thing, then at least come up with a new context to wrap around that thing, and you too can become a master storyteller.

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So that was Pitbull, and I was pleasantly surprised by how good that was. I guess it's time to move on to the Flo Rida song, though. It's called "G.D.F.R.", as in "Going down for real", as in the chorus sung by Sage the Gemini:

I know what you came here to see
If you're a freak, then you're coming home with me
And I know what you came here to do
Now bust it open let me see you get low
It's going down for real [repeat x1]

Nothing special. Oh, except for the sample they used in-between the titular lines. That horn riff comes from the outro to "Low Rider", the 1975 funk-rock hit by the band War. Well, actually, the sample itself is from a remix of the song done by a DJ called Lookas, which explains his featuring credit. Flo Rida's done this sort of thing before, sampling a song which sampled another song, in hits like "Good Feeling" and "I Cry". And believe it or not, I approve. For one, Avicii got his mainstream breakthrough after being "featured" in "Good Feeling". And two, they don't use the more familiar parts of the source material, so the sample doesn't distract you with memories of the song it was taken from. So aesthetically, "G.D.F.R." has pleasantly surprised me, but will the lyrics follow suit?

Your girl just kissed a girl
I do bi (chicks)

Okay, I get the idea that girl-on-girl lovin' is hot. There's even a Trope for that. But how come someone said the word "chicks" in a different, toned-down voice? It's almost like one of those unfinished-simile "hashtag rap" dealies, which I had hoped were dead by now.

Shake for a sheikh
I'm throwing these Emirates in the sky

I see we're experimenting with a Middle Eastern theme with the lyrics. Not a bad choice; I appreciate any attempt to inject some colour into msinstream rap songs, especially local colour. And that neck of the woods has some of the richest cities in the world, so you and your baller image would fit right in. Everyone's a winner!

...Wait a minute, so in that last line when you said "I do bi", you wanted it to sound like "I Dubai", as in the city in the United Arab Emirates? I do, indeed, see what you did there, and I approve. Heck, even the "Low Rider" sample, as used in "G.D.F.R.", could pass for middle-eastern music if you stretch your imagination. Although I'm not sure what you mean by "throwing these Emirates in the sky". I know that Emirates is the name of an airline from the UAE, but does that mean you took over that company? Not the last I checked. Or do you physically launch their planes into the air? Kinda outside the realm of possibility there, too.

Spending this Assal-ama-laykum
Peace to M.O.N.E.Y

At least we're keeping the theme going, but now it's starting to make less sense. How are you supposed to spend Arabic greetings as currency? And has money become such an integral part of your life that now you have to wish peace upon it like it were some religious figure? (That last part is not outside the realm of possibility for Flo Rida.)

I love my beaches, south beaches
Surfboard and high tide

That's it, huh? Not even halfway through the verse, and you've already given up on that theme you had going? I would be disappointed in you, Flo, but I'd have had to have actual expectations in order to say that. Anything else you'd like to bring up, Flo? Let me just skim through the rest of this verse for you... Birthday cakes... Bugattis... Anna Kournikovas...? Yeah, I think we're done here. Let's move on to the other guy.

And they already know me

Probably not; let me bring you up to speed. Gemini, and his name is Sage. Sage the Gemini. He tried to have a hit a couple of years ago with something called "Gas Pedal", and it sucked. I can best describe his style of performance as a "monotone baritone".

It's going down further than femurs
Girls get wetter than Katrina

I'd just like to state for the record that I'm getting over the whole casual references Hurricane Katrina / New Orleans thing. For one, that was ten years ago, and I don't even personally know anybody who was affected by that disaster. I know I got mad when Pitbull used it, but that was a different time, a time when "Give Me Everything" was number 1 and I failed to see any potential he could have had up to his sleeve. Besides, it turns out there have been quite a few of these lines used by many other rappers over the years. So as long as no one tries something like "Blowing up like Fukushima", I think I can sleep easily for once.

Double entendre, double entendre

Uh-oh, thanks for warning us about the double entendre coming up! Also, can I address the staccato delivery he used on this line? Because it's annoying. It's been annoying for a few years now, and it's not likely to become un-annoying anytime soon. So anyway, what's this double entendre you've got cooked up for us?

While you're hating I get money
Then I double up tonkers

...I don't get it; where's the double entendre? Was it supposed to be "double up tonkers"? I have no idea what that even means, and I certainly can't think of the second meaning required to qualify that phrase as a double entendre. Were you, by any chance, referring to the lines beforehand?

Put your hands up
It's a stick up, no more makeup
Get that ass on the floor
Ladies put your lipstick up

...Nope, I've got nothing. I think we're done here. I would be lying if I said "G.D.F.R." weren't catchy, because way the "Low Rider" sample was used gives it more staying power than most other rap songs. But strip away the beat and it's just like any other of Flo Rida's songs.

"Time of Our Lives" Positives: + Slick, non-sampled beat. + The chorus sets up a theme and the verses actually follow it. Negatives: - Still deals with partying, although we finally have proper context. The Call: 5 out of 5 (A)

"G.D.F.R" Positives: + Creative sampling. + Brief attempts at a lyrical theme. Negatives: - Generic lyrics -- that is, when they aren't just awkward. The Call: 3 out of 5 (C)

Top 10: Next Worst Pitbull Lyrics

Previously on the SDP, I listed the top ten worst lyrics by the rapper Pitbull, that I was familiar with at the time. You may be familiar with this list; for some reason, as of this writing, it is the most-viewed article on this very blog. I have no idea how this happened. Maybe a lot of people hate him as much as I did back then, maybe the Russian Mafiya's doing some favours behind my back, I don't know. But I do know two things. One, I don't hate Pitbull nearly as much as I did back then, when his stuff was overplayed on the radio and such. With all the filth that I've exposed myself to in the intervening time, cough Lil' Wayne cough, Pitbull's mannerisms have practically become cute by comparison. And two, when populating my first list I was not in want of lyrical bombs, but I had limited my entries to the hits, the songs I had been exposed to on free media without delving further. Well, thanks to the magic of Spotify, I've been able to listen to the whole of Pitbull's albums without directly spending a dime, so that I may bring you a more complete list. (Edit 28 Nov. 2014: And I've added a Spotify playlist for you to follow along with!) Well, excluding the ones I put on the previous list. So here goes: the Top Ten Worst Pitbull Lyrics of All Time. ...That I didn't already mention.

Before starting this list, I'd like to make an addition to an entry from my previous list. My #8 entry was from Usher's "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love", wherein Mr. Worldwide threw out a pickup line involving a Flintstones reference and the promise of making the girl's bed rock. Get it, "bedrock"? Yeah, I'm not going to go back on my decision to include it. But when I posted my video version of that article, I got a nice young man in the comments suggesting that I should've included the line directly before it, namely:

She don't wrestle, but I got her in a headlock

And I've gotta say: you're right. It would be more impressive if the line had read "I don't wrestle" as opposed to "she [doesn't] wrestle". As it stands, I have no choice but to interpret this line as Pitbull assaulting a defenceless woman. So no wonder that he's teamed up with Chris Brown every now and again, am I right? ... Alright, I can't keep on beating that horse forever, so let's just get to the frigging countdown already.

10) "Back In Time"
from Men In Black 3 [OST] (2012)

Like Agent J or Agent K, and I wish the whole world would
Okay, I'm tryin' make a billion out of 15 cents
Understand, understood

Even though this line isn't at the top of this list, I could make the case that the song itself, "Back In Time", is the worst song Pitbull's ever done. I believe I have done so, as a matter of fact. Hardly any of its elements make sense together, especially not as a single meant to promote a movie such as Men In Black 3. For example, these lines. So Pitbull says he wishes the would would... do something for him. He never says what; he just jumps into declaring his intent to make money, and lots of it. And he never explains how he plans to do that either, he just assumes his desires are understood by us, and moves on whether or not they are. You ever try to hold a conversation with someone who keeps cutting themselves off mid-sentence? Whether it's Mr. Worldwide or my own mother,

9) "Mr. 305 (Outro)"
from The Boatlift (2007)

I'm one of the best, one of the rawest
Nah I ain't perfect but [noun] I'm flawless

"Perfect" and "flawless" are the same word, ignoramus. By definition, you can't be one and not the other. Hit the thesaurus sometime, you might learn something.

8) "On The Floor" w/ Jennifer Lopez
from LOVE (2011)

Now pump-pu-pump p-p-p-pump it up
And back it up like a Tonka truck

In my days as a music consumer, I've born witness to many, many alternate methods to command girls in the vicinity to shake their butts, but I've never seen this one employed before. Nor do I expect it to be employed again. For the uninitiated, Tonka is a brand of scale-model toy utility trucks. In other words, very small trucks. Comparing the Miss New Booty's... um, booty to a toy that's, like, a foot long doesn't have quite enough impact, not when there's a perfectly forceful full-size counterpart you can compare it to. I can understand this choice of word, likely having been inspired by such legendary lexicon entries as "badonkadonk", but when you think about it, the analogy falls flat. Like a flat badonkadonk.

7) "Dance Again" w/ Jennifer Lopez
from Dance Again... The Hits (2012)

You want the recipe?
It's real simple
A little bit of Voli™
Is your open-sesame

This is one of the most blatant instances of product placement in music that I've ever witnessed, and not just within Pitbull's ouevre. Declaring that said product is the key to having a good something-or-other? Why not just insert a full-on commercial spot while you're at it? And besides, the way he ordered the two preceding lines ruined the rhyme scheme. It would not be a stretch for him to have swapped the first two lines and rhyme "sesame" with "recipe" instead of "simple". On second thought, there's still the bloody advert to deal with, so I'd just scrap this bit entierly.

6) "Party Ain't Over" w/ Usher & Afrojack
from Global Warming (2012)

Tell the pope to come see me
I got asses, by the masses

As a secular Christian, I'm familiar with certain jokes which question the right that a bunch of eighty-something-year-old celibate men like, say, the pope and the chief cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church, have to control matters of sexuality. So it is within this mindset that I say: I very much doubt that His Holiness would consider setting aside some time in his globe-trotting schedule to give Mr. Worldwide a visit, based solely on the promise of booty.

5) "Back In Time"
from Men In Black 3 [OST] (2012)

Miami equals
Black mask, black clothes
With a little bit of rope to tie (I flipped it)

I'd apologise for double-dipping from the same song, but I've done so in my last list, and apparently "Back In Time" was so bad that I'm doing it again here. In fact, I consider this a form of penance on my part. See, in my original review of "Back In Time", I failed to notice how incongrous these opening lines were. Apparently Pitbull may have caught his mistake at the last minute, because he then goes on to describe "Black suits, white shirts/Black glasses with a matching tie". You know, like what the titular men in black actually wear. But such is the curse of the verbal backspace: it doesn't actually delete the words you meant to delete. You know, like what a backspace key actually does.

4) "Dukey Love" w/ Trick Daddy & Faboo of D4L
from The Boatlift (2007)

I'm bending the rules for this entry because I'm not referring to a specific line from the given song, but rather a specific word that gets repeated throughout:

Dukey!

Now, I'm familiar with this word being used within a hip-hop context. For example, in the song "Dazzey Duks" it refers to "Daisy Dukes", another term for hot-pants. But with the way it's delivered in "Dukey Love", the way it's emphasized, my first instinct is that they are instead using another slang euphemism for, as Pitbull himself said in a different song, "number twooo~!"

3) "Come and Go" w/ Enrique Iglesias
from Planet Pit (2011)

Baby, you the Internet
And I'm looking for a download

Just the fact that he's attempting a pun-based pickup line sets the bar dangerously low right out of the gate, but its actual content lowers the bar to subterranean levels. First of all, the Internet is a many-faceted behemoth of an entity, so it's entirely within the realm of possibility for his romantic quarry to infer one of its worse interpretations. But I take further umbrage with the line "I'm looking for a download". For those unaware, "downloading" involves the receiving of data from a given source, and "uploading" entails the opposite, sending data to a source. If one were to apply this relationship to the mechanics of sex, wouldn't it make more sense for Mr. Worldwide to ask for an "upload"?

2) "Candyman" w/ Twista
from The Boatlift (2007)

Yes-yes-yes, I'm a freak-freak
that eats-eats [noun] like Jeffrey Dahmer

For the uninitiated, Jeffrey Dahmer was a real-life murderer and cannibal active about Wisconsin during the late 1970s and 80s. You may have heard of him in another pop song of recent memory, namely "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry and Juicy J. And the reference to a literal cannibal, used in a figurative context, was just as creepy when Juicy J did it last year as when Pitbull did the same seven years ago. Arguably, the latter case is even more creepy because oral sex is involved.

1) "Shake Senora" w/ T-Pain and Sean Paul
from Planet Pit (2011)

My girl got a big ol' booty
Your girl got a little booty
(repeat ad nauseum)

"Shake Senora" is a song that offers a buffet of verses from Pitbull, Sean Paul, and depending on your version, Ludacris, stitched together by a hook from T-Pain. And just when you think it's over, the track starts up again and Pitbull starts chanting this little bout of bragging. Yes, it's not enough that his pet lady is well-endowed in the trunk, he has to take your bird down a peg as well by claiming that hers is anything but(t)! I guess my problem with these kind of lines is that we don't generally know who these insults are aimed at, and if we are to infer that they are aimed at us, the listeners, it's very possible that what he's claiming about us doesn't have any grounding in fact! What if my girlfriend has an even bigger waist measurement? What if I don't even have a girlfriend? Ever thought of that, Mr. Worldwide? With that said, allow me to close this segment with a piece of advice: do NOT play this song at your wedding reception, lest you run the risk of offending the bride and adding an unnecessary layer of tension on your honeymoon.

Music Review: Timber

"Timber"

• Artist: Pitbull featuring Ke$ha
• Album: Meltdown [EP]
• Release: 7 October 2013
• Genre: Pop / Dance / Hip-hop
• Writers: Kesha Sebert, Armando C. "Pitbull" Pérez, Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, Priscilla Hamilton, Jamie "Sermstyle" Sanderson, Breyan Stanley Isaac, Henry "Cirkut" Walter, Pebe Sebert, Lee Oskar, Keri Oskar, Greg Errico
• Producers: Dr. Luke, Cirkut, Sermstyle

Folks, I have a lot of explaining to do.  I actually like a Pitbull song.  I dare say it's even a guilty pleasure of mine.  And don't say I didn't warn you, either; I brought it up on my list of honourable mentions for my Best Hit Songs of 2013.  Welp, since it's still going strong as of the time I write this -- it's since peaked at #1 -- and since I don't see it making my best-of-2014 list either, I might as well dig myself deeper by digging into this song.

So what could've attracted me to "Timber" more so than any other of Pitbull's songs over the past few years?  Maybe because technically speaking, it's a Pitbull song featuring Ke$ha.  As I admitted previously, I have a soft spot for the girl.  I mean, yes, she does at times sound like she's vomiting glitter into your ears.  But especially since her last album, she's managed to keep her obnoxiousness under control.  So how does she fare this time around?  Let's take a look at the chorus, and the thesis presented therein:

It's going down, I'm yelling "timber"
You better move, you better dance

The key point of this song is the phrase "it's going down", in relation to the party du jour.  And to punctuate said point, they added "I'm yelling 'timber'", as a lumberjack would when he or she has cut a tree and it's about to fall.  As in go down, literally.  Like the party, figuratively.  ...Sorry I had to explain the joke, I must've underestimated your intelligence for a moment.

Well, how 'bout something even I didn't know?  Let's examine that harmonica-led track in the back.  It doesn't sound like any sample I've ever heard.  But it turns out that it is, in fact, a pre-existing riff.  It comes to us from a song called "San Francisco Bay" by the Danish harmonica player and former War member Lee Oskar.  (The version on "Timber" was re-performed by session musician Paul Harrington.)  What does this song have to do with the mood which "Timber" attempts to evoke?  Naught is my guess.  Just like another Pitbull song I reviewed.  Yes, "Back In Time"'s use of "Love Is Strange" was totally incongruous, having nothing to do with the former's association with Men In Black 3.  But whilst no one in their sane mind would relate "San Francisco Bay" with some redneck hoedown like Pitbull & co. seemed to do, they used just the right parts of the song to enhance the experience.  Slowly but surely, they may just be learning the meaning of the word "subtlety".

Those of you who remember one of the other Pitbull songs I've reviewed -- in this case, "Feel This Moment" -- may remember that it did something I liked: namely, use a sample from "Take On Me", in an awesome, pulse-pounding way.  But disappointment quickly set in when the verses did -- not just because Pitbull had to go and open up his big fat mouth, but also because all the musical momentum that had built up over those glorious thirty seconds came to a screeching halt.  And then the transition from the first verse to the chorus killed the momentum again.  And so on.  Well, I have good news: "Timber" does not share its predecessor's problem.  There are no slow segments to be found this time around, ensuring that beat is pulse-pounding throughout.  In fact, with a running time of 3:24, this is a rather trim song with no unnecessary instrumental breaks or anything.  Part of me can appreciate that, given whom we're dealing with.

But even if Pitbull's obscure choice of sample (assuming it was his call) could fool me into thinking that he's kicked his crippling addiction to sampling, his unique habit of sampling lyrics from other rap songs throws a proverbial wrench into the proverbial works.  In "Timber", he's guilty of two such offences: first, this line:

Face down, booty up
That's the way we like to (what?) 

is a cleaned-up version of a line from 2 Live Crew's "Face Down, [noun] Up".  And there's also this:

We about to drown (why?)
'Cause it's -- about -- to go -- down

in which the latter line is from Jay-Z's "Give It To Me (I Just Wanna Love You)".  Okay, I will admit this part was kind of awesome, I guess because of the staccato delivery.  And Pitbull & co. can't even take credit for that, the original song did that sort of thing too.  Besides, borrowing lines from ther rappers isn't the reason I've harboured as much hatred as I have for the man.  He's got other problems.  For instance, his repertoire of references extends to celebrities themselves:

I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off
Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber

Aw, dangit man!  I was trying to forget about the Twerktastrophe of 2013!  And the fact that we've even given that random act such a cute name is a sign that our culture is focusing its attention on the wrong things, but that's a rant for another day.  So, what else ya got?

I'm slicker than an oil spill

Huh.  Remember when Pitbull did that line about "flooding like New Orleans", which I sarcastically honoured as the worst line he's ever spit?  I would cry foul at this line, too, having the 2010 Deepwater Horizon disaster in mind, but that line is non-specific enough that I think I could give it a pass.  After all, oil spills anywhere in the world tend to occur more frequently than flooding in any one particular city.  Either way, I've surprised myself with how little I was offended by this or indeed any line from this song.  Maybe it's because of his relative absence, or because other rappers like Lil' Wayne showed just how low the bar could be set, but I'm not even as annoyed at Pitbull as I used to be.  For example, let's go back to the "flooding like New Orleans" line.  For any other bad rapper, that would only make the back half of the list, if at all.  On the other hand, when Pitbull says this:

She says she won't, but I bet she will

I don't picture that as a warning that he's about to date-rape some dame, and more that he's making a friendly wager with another guy that he can get some other girl to accompany him into bed of her own free will.  He is, to purloin a catchphrase from a certain intergalactic reference material, "mostly harmless".  I mean, he self-censored that 2 Live Crew line a while back!  Who else is gonna do that?  As a general rule, he's not mysoginistic, he's not threatening, he just wants to have a good time for himself.  Even if the man comes across as annoying every once in a while, in the grand scheme of things, is that such a crime?

Club jumpin' like LeBron now (Voli)
Order me another round, homie

We wrap up our whirlwind tour of worrisome writing with this wee little bit of product placement.  So, Pitbull... I see you're still vouching for Voli vodka.  Given the fate of Kodak -- you know, the brand you rather embarrassingly pimped out at the start of "Give Me Everything" -- I had hoped you'd have learned your lesson by now.  But I guess those first-class plane tickets don't pay for themselves!

Well, all product placement aside, I must admit I rather liked "Timber".  Do I think it's a good song?  ...Eh, that's harder to answer.  It's true that the path of the party song is fully well-worn, so if you're seeking some great insight into the human condition, look elsewhere.  But here's the thing: no one expects the party song to provide such insight; they just want to put it on to have fun.  And any party song that can serve as a consistent source of fun is a good party song.  See, I don't know about you, but in judging things, most especially songs, I try to take into account both the effort that went into it, and the reactions it instills in me as a consumer.  I mean, that's the point of entertainment as a whole, no?  If Pitbull's just gonna go off and do his own thing, he might as well improve at whatever that thing is.  And doggone it, I consider "Timber" an improvement.

Music: 4 out of 5
Lyrics: 2 out of 5
Performance: 4 out of 5
The Call: 3 out of 5 (C)

Music March: I Cry vs. Feel This Moment

Previously on the SDP, I reviewed a song by will.i.am, one of our best and brightest rap stars, I said in sarcasm mode. Now I'm taking on two more at once.

"I Cry"

• Artist: Flo Rida
• Album: Wild Ones
• Release: 18 September 2012
• Label: Atlantic, Poe Boy (Warner)
• Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap, Dance
• Writers: Scott Cutler, Jeff Hull, Brenda Russell ("Piano In The Dark"); Bingo Players ("Cry (Just A Little)"); Flo Rida, The Futuristics, soFly & Nius
• Producers: The Futuristics, soFLY & Nius

"Feel This Moment"

• Artist: Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera
• Album: Global Warming
• Release: 4 February 2013
• Label: RCA, Mr. 305, Polo Grounds (Sony)
• Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap, Dance
• Writers: a-ha ("Take On Me"); Christina Aguilera, Nasri Atweh, DJ Buddha, Adam Messinger, Pitbull, Sir Nolan
• Producers: Nasri Atweh, DJ Buddha, Adam Messinger, Sir Nolan

The Chorus:

For its chorus, "I Cry" uses a sample from "Piano In The Dark", a 1988 R&B hit by Brenda Russell, and one of my favourite songs from the '80s (although I have a lot of favourite songs from the '80s ^_^). Actually, the version used here is from "Cry (Just A Little)", a 2011 EDM song by Bingo Players in which the only words were taken from the chorus. Don't you just hate when that happens? I've heard "One Night in Bangkok" and "Party All The Time" butchered in a similar fashion. Anyway, back to "I Cry". The sample has been sped pitched up from the original, overlaid with a dance beat and, for "I Cry", Flo Rida singing along with the words off and on.

All in all, it's a lazy execution, so let's see what "Feel This Moment" brings to the table. The chorus was actually written for this song, and sung by Christina Aguilera. The melody is a rather simple one, only two measures long with one a down-shifted copy of the other, so no matter how much X-tina sings the heck out of it, it gets old fast. And besides, the lyrics don't give me much to work with:

One day when the light is glowing
I'll be in my castle golden
But until the gates are open
I just wanna feel this moment

...Not sure what to make of that. True, It's obvious that this is a song about indulging in the current festivities to the fullest. But I don't know about you, but I'd equate "light is glowing" and "in my castle golden" as good things. So why would she want to delay those experiences? Maybe there are some formalities she's trying to stave off...? But then the bridge starts up: a remake (not a sample) of the famous synth riff from a-ha's "Take On Me", and it is just glorious. The sharp, simple melody is laid over a driving beat and its power just flows through you. It's like something out of Dance Dance Revolution -- you know, from before they started licencing Train and Justin Bieber. (I'll get to that later.) In fact, I kinda wish that could be the whole song. Better yet, they should've just done a straight cover of "Take On Me" in that fashion.

The winner: "Feel This Moment"

The Verses:

The first verse of "I Cry" opens up with Flo Rida declaring:

I know you wanna get behind the wheel
But only one rider

A line he copied from his last hit, "Whistle", which in turn was taken from the name of his last album, Only One Flo. I see his laziness wasn't limited to the chorus. And yet...

No fear, I've got fans in Okinawa
My heart's in Japan, quake losers and survivors
Norway, know you didn't get my flowers
No way to say it better, but the killer was a coward
[...]
Heard about the news, whole day went sour

I would question the point of bringing up these sad events I would also question the timeliness of these references; both events occurred at least a year before the Wild Ones album came out (3 July 2012), but who knows how long this song was in the oven... So, is there any other reason you cry? It certainly can't be all the champagne and Bugattis you own. Give me your best shot.

Thirty years, you'd have thought these emotions vanish
Try to live, try to figure how my sister vanish

Wait a minute, so your sister disappeared under mysterious circumstances? Very interesting; I would like to hear more. Oh wait, we don't, because that's the end of the verses. Just the middle eight and that's it in terms of new words. So let's move on to the other song. The first verse of "Feel This Moment" opens up with Pitbull declaring:

Reporting live
From the tallest building in Tokyo

I take it this is Pit's attempt at being topically relevant. More than likely he's referring to the Tokyo Skytree, a tower which opened in May 2012. Coincidentally, this is also the only line I could remember at first, the "Something Something Leonard Bernstein" line, if you will. Of course, it's not like there's any true introspection going on -- this is Pitbull we're talking about peoples. I mean, at least "I Cry" is trying to be deep. Pitbull seems perfectly content to adhere to the status quo -- and it's a status quo I've been tired of for years. Add to that his perpetually annoying verbal tic of laughing at his own jokes -- sometimes not even after any punchlines at all. Of course, you've already heard me whine about that. For example, he does it at these lines:

She read books
Especially about red rooms and tie-ups
I got it hooked
'Cause she seen me in a suit with the red tie tied up

We get it, you're rich and you like to have sex. And you're a businessman.

I'm far from cheap
I break down companies with all my peeps
[...]
Time is money
Only difference is I own it

Dude, we just came off a recession, now's not the time to flaunt your status in the 1%. Seriously, are ya gonna bring up anything in your life that was less than perfect? Actually... yes. In the second verse, he gives us:

I've lost a lot, and learned a lot
But I'm still undefeated like Zula [???]

I would interpret that as a reference to his former label TVT Records going out of business, but that doesn't quite work out, because it's not like Pitbull himself founded that label. So... no. You're gonna have to try harder to get some empathy out of us. Which he doesn't do. Shouldn't have been surprised. You win this round, Flo Rida, but pretty much by default.

The winner: "I Cry"

"I Cry":
Lyrics: 3 '80s samples out of 5
Music: 3 '80s samples out of 5
Performance: 2 '80s samples out of 5
The Call: 3 '80s samples out of 5 (C)

"Feel This Moment":
Lyrics: 1 '80s samples out of 5
Music: 4 '80s samples out of 5
Performance: 2 '80s samples of 5
The Call: 2 '80s samples out of 5 (D)

Well, that wraps it up for Music March, and I'm sorry I only managed three articles. Between this and my videos (I only managed one SDP episode in March, not counting the 007 reviews), I didn't have much time to devote my attention to one thing in particular. Plus, I was away on vacation this past week, where I managed to get less work done (read: none) than I expected. So, I think I'll come back to this concept with a Music May, for the only other month which starts with the letter "M". Until then, this is IchigoRyu.

You are the resistance.

Music Review: Back In Time

Now in full swing, the summer blockbuster season of 2012 has saw fit to reanimate a franchise that has been dormant for ten years.  (I wish it was that easy for video games.)  Enter Men In Black 3.  The gimmick with this film is that Agent J (Will Smith) must time-travel to the year 1969 to save his partner, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones / Josh Brolin). Now, I'm not here to talk about the film, although I will mention that general consensus puts it below the first film but a league above the second.  Rather, I will focus my attention on MIB3's promotional single, "Back In Time" by Pitbull.


"Back In Time"

• Artist: Pitbull
• Album: Men In Black 3 [OST]
• Release: 26 March 2012
• Genre: Hip-Hop, Pop
• Label: Polo Grounds, RCA, Mr. 305
• Writers: Armando C. Perez, Marc Kinchen, Adrian Trejo, Urales Vargas, Sylvia Robinson, Ellas McDaniel, Mickey Baker
• Producers: Marc Kinchen, DJ Big Syphe, DJ Buddha

Hey wait a minute, Pitbull!? Will Smith did the tie-in songs for the first two films himself; why did they need to pull in someone else this time around? There are rumours that he's working on his first album since 2005, but he could've done the work here and now as the perfect re-launching point for his recording career! As it stands, we're stuck with one of the most atrocious rappers this side of Soulja Boy Tell'Em, may his career burn in Hell. And the only reason I can think of is because he's popular at the moment, which would also explain the brief dubstep breakdown near the end of the track. What does it have to do with the rest of the song musically? Not much, but hey, it's a rising trend too!

Because of its title, one wonders if it would sample the song of the same name by Huey Lewis and the News, which was a tie-in with Back To The Future.  But no, that would be too awesome.  Rather, the sample they used was from "Love Is Strange" by Mickey & Silvia, back from 1956.  Yeah, I've never heard of it before either.  But whatever it is, has nothing to do with Men In Black and it adds little so to the song itself that it might as well not be there at all.  For gripes' sake, the lyrics are:

Baby, ooh, baby
Ooh baby
My sweet baby
You're the one

Which could be taken from any song on the radio!  I know I'm going to regret this, but let's see what kind of personality Pitbull will add to this recipe.

It's Mr Worldwide, Agent A, Reporting live

You forgot to add "hole" in front of your agent letter. >:-)

From Cape Canaveral, MK, Big Syphe, let's ride

Oh hey, Marc Kinchen (MK) and DJ Big Syphe, two of the song's producers.  You know, this trend of making shout-outs at the beginning of songs is getting annoying, as anyone who's suffered through a JR Rotem song can attest to.  There are less intrusive ways to give credit where credit is due, ya know.

Miami equals black mask, black clothes
With a little bit of rope to tie, (I flipped it)

Around your neck, please? >:-)

Black suits, white shirts, black glasses with a matching tie
Like Agent J or Agent K, and I wish the whole world would

You wish the whole world would... what?  Stop listening to your music?  Because I'm down with that! >:-)

Okay, I'm tryin' make a billion out of 15 cents, understand, understood
I'm a go-getter, mover, shaker, culture
Bury a boarder, record-breaker won't cha
Give credit where credit is due, don't cha

...Aaand my question goes unanswered, in favour of Pitbull bragging about how awesome (he thinks) he is.  Shouldn't have been surprised.

Know that I don't give a number two
Y'all just halfway thoughts, not worth the back of my mind

My thoughts exactly. >:-)  (Okay, I need to stop using that devil smiley!)  Then again, since he's not declaring whom he doesn't care for, for all I know he could be talking about himself.  Wishful thinking, I calls it.

But to understand the future, we have to go back in time

Oh, goody, a reference to the film shoehorned in the song without any regard to how it fits in with the lyrical content!  Actually, since this song has so little to do with the movie, I have to give a tip of the hat to how it was used in the TV adverts, in which only this line, the first lines of the first verse, and the chorus can be heard.

I got the globe, yeah, in the palm of my hand
Wherever I spin it, that's where I land

I think you mixed up the word order there, pally.  To simply "spin" a globe won't give you an exact location; you have to drop your finger or something on a random point in order to know where to "land".  If I were writing this song, Heaven forbid, I'd have fixed this to something like, "I spin the globe, yeah, in the palm of my hand / Wherever it stops, that's where I land".  Oh, but then he wouldn't be able to say he has the globe in the palm of his hand.  Truly, this world - and my brain - has become a giant [chicken], just waiting to get [plucked].

Stop the movement, they can try if they want to
Ignorar lo latino, si (ignore the Latino, yeah)
They can try if they want to

Isn't this special.  He just rhymed an entire phrase with itself, with some gratuitous Spanish to boot.  And wouldn't you know it, he's done this before, in "International Love".  Pit, su escritura es perezoso.

What Pit solves is a bit raw, took like jigsaw and built it all
Despite a big loss, I'd bet it all

Oh how I wish that would happen. >:-) (Sorry, last one, we're almost done.)

And fought blind against the world, Ray Charles

Aw, what the heck now!?  One of my least favourite rappers has caught onto the "hashtag rap" trend!?  There's only one meme picture that can describe how I'm feeling:

Or, at the end of the music video, Pitbull is nice enough to flash a neuralyzer at the screen.  Smile for the camera...

...Where am I?  Was I in the middle of writing a review?  Guess so, I left a memo for myself before that guy fixed me.  Something for a song called "Back In Time"...  Man, what have I got against Huey Lewis?

Lyrics: 1 star out of 5
Music/Production: 1 star out of 5
Performance: 2 stars out of 5
The Call: 1 star out of 5 (F)

Top 10: Worst Pitbull Lyrics

Enter Armando Christian Perez, the Miami-born Cuban-American who in 2004 became known as the rapper Pitbull.  I used to have a slight interest in his early works for some reason.  Maybe it was the way he complemented acts like the Ying-Yang Twins and Lil' Jon, or maybe it was he was hovering just below the mainstream.  (That's right: I'm a hipster.)  As the turn of the decade came and went, Pit's star kept rising, culminating in his first number 1 hit, "Give Me Everything".  ...And it sucked.  By this time, I had taken notice of three personal touches of his: gratuitous Spanish, references to other (better) rap songs, and laughing at his own punchlines.  Seriously dude, quit it, you're not Jimmy Fallon.  In retrospect, I can see that Pitbull has always sucked... but some moments stand out worse than others.  They are:

10) "Spring Break" w/ Jump Smokers (2012)
"Don't you know some of the best entrepreneurs... are dropouts"

On its own, this introductory line doesn't sound so awful.  It's true that some of our best and brightest billionaires aborted their college careers, like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and presumably Kanye West.  But this song is about having a drunk party during Spring Break; I very much doubt that the boys from Jump Smokers, a poor man's 3OH!3, whom Pit's hanging out with have a sound business plan to fall back on.

9) "We Run The Night" w/ Havana Brown (2012)
"As my money gets older, let's get younger
They sell their soul but the Devil knows I have no number"

The way I see it, "older" money (meaning greater in number) plus "younger" people (meaning lesser in maturity) equals a fiscal disaster.  Have fun with that.  Also, it's funny you say you wouldn't sell your soul for anything... just hang onto that idea.

8) "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" w/ Usher (2010)
"Yabba-dabba-doo, make her bed rock"

OMG, he just used the Forbidden Pick-up Line!  No, it's not forbidden as in it's so potent that it could have disastrous side effects for its user, although if one were to count STDs then that could be true.  Actually, it's forbidden because referencing The Flintstones in some capacity, followed by the promise that you can "make her bed rock" with mind-meltingly good sex is just so lame!

7) "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" (2009)
"Label flop but Pit won't stop
Got her in the cockpit playin' with his (como?)
Now watch him make a movie like Alfred Hitchcock"

Two things wrong here: first, you seem to have cut out a word at the end of one of those lines... except there's no version of the song that leaves it in.  Now, you can probably guess what word was supposed to go there, and if I'm right, then he would've rhymed it with itself in the next line, so forget about it.  Which brings me to my next point: Alfred Hitchcock did not, despite his name, direct pornography films.  (And no, that one line from "Bad Romance" does not count.)  Good thing, too, or else I'd never look at Psycho or Rear Window the same way again.

6) "I Like It" w/ Enrique Iglesias (2010)
"Tiger Woods times Jesse James equals Pitbull all night long"

For those who don't remember 2009 or early 2010, Tiger Woods and Jesse James, ex-husband of Sandra Bullock, were both caught cheating on their wives.  Ya know, I have no idea why rappers these days boast about their ability to make members of the opposite sex tack on a third wheel to their relationships.  To me, all it does is make them look like scumbags.

5)"Give Me Everything" w/ Ne-Yo, Nayer, & Afrojack (2011)
"Me not working hard?  Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak
And better yet, go to times square, take a picture of me with a Kodak"

And here's where entry #9 pays off.  If you couldn't tell by this line, Pitbull's gone loco with product placement in recent days, with endorsed products including Kodak, Dr. Pepper, and Voli vodka.  And yet, Kodak declared bankruptcy in February 2012.  Serves ya right for trying to rhyme their name with itself, pally!

4) "Give Me Everything" w/ Ne-Yo, Nayer, & Afrojack (2011)
"I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan"

By this line, I assume you're talking about Lohan's February 2011 theft arrest.  The funny thing about that is, she served that time under house arrest because her scheduled jail was overcrowded.  Also, Lohan herself sued Pitbull (a case she lost) for use of her name without compensation, and for defamation of character.  And to that I say... what character?

3) "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" (2009)
"Mami got an ass like a donkey with a monkey, look like King Kong"

That was a free-association train wreck right there.  Okay, so free-association in and of itself is not a bad thing, but taking any one of these images on its own is not pretty.  Actually, I'd gladly take this over the next line which starts out the same...

2) "Boomerang" w/ DJ Felli Fel, Akon, & Jermaine Dupri (2011)
"Mommy got a boom bang bing bang ding dang
No digga dee, no doubt, Imma hit that"

How can one say so much and not say anything at all?  You know what Pit sounds like here?  He sounds like a sexually-awakened seven-year-old who just saw his first slice of booty.  ...Pray you never witness that image in real life.

Our final line comes from a guest verse on T-Pain's "It's Not You (It's Me)".  Now, this song has the potential to deconstruct the "in da club" mentality every mainstream rapper these days seems to have.  See, T-Pain's still willfully doing his thing, but he's conscious of the fact that it could preclude him from maintaining a monogamous relationship.  It was so thought-provoking, in fact, that I almost did a review on the song, but couldn't quite build up enough material for the concept.  It does have one other moment I still wish to pour my heart out over, however...

1) "It's Not You (It's Me)" w/ T-Pain (2011)
"More Voli, pour it like water
Fo sho, flood the club like New Orleans"

...

Really?  A Hurricane Katrina reference!?  People died from Katrina, you know.  Billions of dollars' worth of property was damaged, and President Bush suffered (yet another) blow to his reputation from which he would never recover.  And you think it's okay to joke about that!?  That's it, I condemn every rapper who's ever referred to Hurricane Katrina within the context of simple materialism to have their mansions broken into by angry mobs.  That includes Pitbull, Yung Joc, and... those are the only ones that've been so far.

So in conclusion, what do I think of Pitbull?  As the man himself says in "Back In Time", "I don't really give a number twooo~o!"  And neither should you.