Music March: Mic Drop

Now that I've got my reviewing stride back, I've got ideas for a bunch of song reviews, so I'm going to start another Music March event.  To open it up, in honour of the recent Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, I feel like doing another K-pop song.  But which one...?  Ever since I stopped playing the Pump It Up! games, my knowledge of the Korean music scene isn't what it used to be (and it wasn't very much to begin with).  I suppose there's always Psy, but he seems like too easy a target.  ...Wait.  There is another.  There's this boy band called BTS, and they did a remix of one of their songs not too long ago, that featured Steve Aoki and Desiigner...  Wait a tic, let me check it out.

(Listens to song)

Oh ho ho, I think we've got a review on our hands, ladies and gentlemen!

"Mic Drop"

• Artist: BTS feat. Steve Aoki and Desiigner
• Album: Non-album single (Original version from Love Yourself: Her)
• Release: 18 September 2017
• Genre: Hip-hop/Rap
• Label: Big Hit (Sony)
• Writers: Pdogg, Supreme Boi, "hitman" bang, J-Hope, RM, Desiigner (remix)
• Producers: Pdogg, Steve Aoki (remix)

Before we continue, allow me to introduce our cast of characters.  BTS was formed in Seoul in 2013, and the name is an acronym of the Korean phrase "Bangtan Sonyeondan", or "Bulletproof boy scouts".  Then again, it has also been backronymed in English as "Beyond The Scene", so take that for what you will.  They have seven members, currently aged 20 to 25, and their names are Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Rap Monster, Jimin, V, and Jungkook, but I couldn't tell you which is which.  They have recorded in Korean, Japanese, and the random English phrases that are peppered throughout all Asian music these days.  The original version of this very single was also done in Korean and Japanese versions, in addition to the remixed, mostly-English version we have on our hands now.

Which brings us to our guest-stars.  Steve Aoki is a Japanese-American DJ of the deadmau5/Skrillex mold, and Desiigner is a Brooklyn-based rapper of the Future mold.  You may remember the latter from his inexplicable number-one single "Panda", but then again maybe not.  After all, what separates him from the other forty-six thousand eight-hundred fifty-three mumblecore rappers these days?  Also, what's up with the double "i" in his name?  ...Other than "because poor literacy is KEWL".

Now, this is where things get confusing.  See. there's the original version of the song, and then there's the remix, where some of the lyrics were replaced with English lines and Steve Aoki changed up the music a bit.  But there were two separate versions of the remix itself: the single replaces the first verse with a guest verse by Desiigner, but the one used in the music video (reposted above) still keeps the original verse, but still uses the Steve Aoki music.  And then there's a Japanese version of the original and oh no I've gone cross-eyed.  Well, let's try to make sense of it all, and review the lyrics from the video version, for the benefit of all of you playing along at home.

NB: Lyrics in italics have been translated from Korean.  Said translations were taken from the captions of the official music video (reposted above), and may vary with other sources.

Yeah, someone says my spoon's filthy (I come from a [adjective] background)
I don’t care, when I grab the mic, I beat them who got golden spoons

The first verse is kicked off by, let's see... J-Hope, who immediately hits us with an unusual metaphor.  Or maybe not; in English, at least, we use the phrase "the silver spoon" as a metaphor for luxury, so "golden spoon" would be close enough.  And J-Hope twists that around by saying that even though he does not come from luxury, his talents as a rapper are greater than those who do.  So, yeah, eat that, Puff Daddy.  Also, what's up with that additional line in parentheses?  I didn't hear anything in the song where that extra line would fit, so either that was just a translation note added for the captions, or the song itself really does have a [adjective] background.  ...Background vocals, that is.

I lash out
There are many rare steaks not cooked properly
I’ll be chewing over and over at the stars' dinner

Steaks...?  Yeah, it makes sense, it's just... silly.  Well, I'll give BTS this: they have no problem finding new metaphors to express their dominance over the haters.  Doesn't mean it's any less awkward, but it's more creative than anything I've heard before.

With this good scent, stinking is a foul
Mic, mic bungee

Also, "mic bungee".  J-Hope is so attached to the act of mic-dropping that, apparently, he put a bungee cord on his microphone so he can do it again at a moment's notice.  But what he failed to take into account is that this completely misses the point of the mic-drop.  You're supposed to just drop it and walk away, so the act serves as an emphatic punctuation on whatever it is you said.  But if you just pull the mic back into your hand, you clearly have something else to say, and the act thus loses its impact.  That is, assuming that's what he actually said and that wasn't just some Korean word that sounds like bungee.  But it's in the captions, so it must be true!  Meanwhile, Suga takes over:

Mic, mic bungee
Bright light, forward
You thought I was going down, but
I’m fine, sorry
My bad, Billboard
My bad, worldwide

Or, should I say, #SorryNotSorry.  I'm guessing he's fake-apologising for doing the mic-bungee thing too.

I’m sorry mom, your son is so killing it
Should I chip in for the duties you missed as a good child?

Okay, now you really mean #SorryNotSorry.  Wait, if you're able to remunerate your own mother, then what was that about not coming from luxury?  Are you and J-Hope on the same page right now, or what?

If you're so jealous and it hurts, then file a lawsuit, sue it

Well, since you opened yourself up to the prospect, I'd be wary of Desiigner.  You took his verse out of the video, so if anyone's going to sue you over your success, it's him.  But speaking of, the remix gets back on track with the main version starting with the first bridge, sung by Jungkook, V, Jimin, Jin.  I don't know why I just listed their names, since as we previously established, I cannot yet tell them apart.  But anyway, let's have at it:

Did you see my bag?
Did you see my bag?
It's hella trophies and it's hella thick

(laughs profusely)  There's just something about this line that cracks me up so hard!  I don't know, maybe it's the heavy slang, or the sudden transition from Korean to English, or just the thought of taking these lines literally, like they've actually lost some luggage with all their awards in it.  Of course, K-pop artists are no strangers to random English lyrics.  Why, BTS themselves gave us this gem from one of their previous singles, "Blood, Sweat, and Tears":

Peaches and cream
Sweeter than sweet
Chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings

And don't get the wrong idea: this isn't me doing some wonky translation from Korean.  No, this was originally sung in English.  While the original version of "Mic Drop" had some of these lines in Korean instead, BTS had re-written them in English themselves for the remix.  OMG, I want SO much for this line to become a meme!

What you think 'bout that?
What you think 'bout that?

I just told you what I think.  Namely, that the previous lines were some of the most gleefully ridiculous lyrics I've ever heard.

I bet it got my haters hella sick

One thing's for sure, the haters will be sick with laughter!  ...Okay, I'm cool now.  Let's just move on to the chorus, with... (let me see...) Jungkook, J-Hope, and Rap Monster:

Another trophy, my hands carry 'em
Too many that I can't even count 'em

Wait a tic, I thought you were using a bag to carry all your trophies!  Unless you got so many that it started overflowing and you had to carry the rest manually.  Given that you said you had too many to count, this is a distinct possibility.

Mic drop, mic drop
Foot, foot, watch it, your mouth, mouth, watch it

I don't get the structure of that sentence, unless it's telling the haters to put their foot in their mouth, a metaphorical statement used whenever someone says something stupid.  Which, given the context of the song, could have worked.  Mind you, this last line is in Korean, hence the italics I put on it, so maybe it is grammatically correct for all I know.

Baby watch your mouth
We come back around

The second verse, which my lyrics sheet tells me was sung by J-Hope, Suga, and Rap Monster, appears to confirm my previous analysis.

Once upon a time
We learned how to fly
[...]
How many hours do we fly?
I keep on dreamin' on the cloud
Yeah, I'm on the mountain, yeah, I'm on the bay

Then it's followed up by this odd line where they brag about being able to fly.  And surprisingly, they expand on that idea later in the verse, as if taking their boast literally.

Everyday we vibin', mic drop, bam

...Okay, if you can physically fly as you have so claimed, then that mic drop was actually well-deserved.  You've earned yourself an outro!

Don't need too see you anymore, this is the last farewell
Don't got no words to tell, don't even apologise
Don't need too see you anymore, this is the last farewell
Don't got no words to tell, don't even apologise

Yeah, this is our last good-bye to you, haters!  ...At least the second time we sing that line.  And we have no other words to mince with you!  ...Other than these next four lines.

See, you end up just like that
Just so fizzy, we're like cola
Your cornea gets shocked when it sees us
Quite, quite stylish, s-s-stylish yeah

Your metaphors aren't quite what I'd call stylish, but what do I know.

---

Now that I've finally run out of lyrics (for now...) let's take a break and talk about the music.  The original has a down-and-dirty hip-hop vibe.  It does the job, but BTS aren't quite the most hardcore of gangstas, so I for one can't take it a hundred percent seriously.  If you want to hear what that version sounds like, I've reposted a fan-made animated video which uses it.

The remix, meanwhile, takes bassline from the original and evolves it into a pseudo-dubstep arrangement.  Unfortunately, once you hear the high-pitched riff, you'll never not hear it.  Still, I appreciate the fact that this remix actually re-mixes the music, instead of the increasingly popular approach of just using the same song but with an extra rap verse.  Seriously, I love Bruno Mars's "Finesse" as much as the next guy, but just slapping on that Cardi B verse and calling that a "remix" is kind of a cheat.

---

As mentioned before, the single version of the remix features Desiigner in lieu of the first verse, so as a bonus, let's look at what he has to say.  The song starts with Desiigner doing a few ad-libs before entering his verse proper:

Playing that basketball, uh, we playing that a lot, huh
I'ma just get to the chicken, whip it, then I flip it, then trap it all, huh

Basketball... and chicken.  Way to play off black stereotypes right off the bat, Desiigner.  Actually no, "chicken" in this context is slang for a kilogram of cocaine, so that means he's throwing drugs-dealing into the mix.  Yay, more ghetto stereotyping! (thumbs-up into face-palm)

I gotta get to the dolla, all them haters, back 'em off (back!)
Smoking on gas a lot (gas!), ready to wack 'em all
[...]
This what I did to the haters, the choppa hit 'em, tell 'em back 'em off, huh

I'll give him this though: since the rest of this song has an overarching theme of one-upping the haters that apparently exist in BTS's collective lives, this at least fits that theme, which is more than I can say for most guest verses these days.  Mind you, I doubt BTS's methods of serving the haters involves murdering them, as is apparently the case for Desiigner, but their name does mean "bulletproof boys", so what do I know?

She like Apple Jack, huh, I like apple sauce, huh, huh

Oh ho ho, I think Desiigner just outed himself as a brony!  Or maybe he's dating a pega-sis.  ...Actually no.  "Apple Jack" in this context is a type of liquor distilled from apples.  Still, knowing this fact makes the pony character Applejack a teensy bit funnier, so either way, I'mma call this a win and move on.  There's really nothing else for me to point out in this verse, until the last line:

I'ma just get to the kitchen, and trap hard, with all my

...And that's it.  Desiigner's verse just cuts off there as the song goes straight into the pre-chorus bridge.  You know, the "Did you see my bag?" bit.  Granted, I appreciate any excuse for him not to drop the N-word, as I assume this line was going to lead to, but if not, at least let the man finish his thoughts!

As for my thoughts, this was a fun little song.  It's not the greatest thing ever to happen to music; the beat has its annoyances in both versions, and the lyrics aren't that deep either (which, in retrospect, I admit was also the case with "Gangnam Style").  But it's not bad either, and was in fact good for a laugh.  I may even seek out more from BTS in the future.  And who knows, maybe I'll branch out further into other K-pop from there!  Thank you, BTS, for teaching me how to love again.

Lyrics: 3 mics out of 5
Music: 2 mics out of 5
Performance: 4 mics out of 5
The Call: 3 mics out of 5 (C)

Game Review: Shantae: Half-Genie Hero

Shantae: 1/2-Genie Hero

• Publisher: WayForward / Marvelous
• Developer: WayForward / Inti Creates
• Release Date: 20 December 2016
• Systems: PC, PlayStation 4, PlayStation Vita, XBox One, Wii U, Switch
• Genre: 2D Action (Platformer)
• Players: 1
• Cost: US$20

Previously on the SDP, I reviewed Mighty No. 9, a game that rode high atop a mega-bucks-earning KickStarter campaign, only to crash into a pile of manure upon release.  Another game that also went through the crowd-funding motions at the same time was the new sequel to Shantae, sub-titled 1/2-Genie Hero.  I, myself, contributed to that campaign, spending more on it than I did with Mighty No. 9, for the record.  Upon backing, I opted to receive the PlayStation 3 port, since I have seen no need for the newer wave of consoles.  But, that port got cancelled, along with the one for XBox 360.  I'll say one good thing about how Comcept handled Mighty No.9 -- at least they actually released the PS3 and XBox 360 ports!  But whatever, there's still the PC version, so that's what I fell back on.  #PCGamingMasterRace  So, was all that worry worth it?

The game starts with Tinkerbats invading Scuttle Town -- again.

The story starts with Risky Boots and her Tinkerbat pirates invading Scuttle Town.  Second verse, same as the first.  So it should come as no surprise that Shantae's Uncle Mimic has unveiled a new mechanical contraption, and sends Shantae to gather the parts for it so they won't be stolen by Risky Boots, only for the finished product to be stolen by Risky Boots in the end.  It's basically another one of those "Mad Libs" sequels, as I described Risky's Revenge before.  In your quest to find these machine parts, you will unlock a succession of five worlds, accessible through a map screen as opposed to one giant overworld.  In fact, there are no discrete dungeon areas this time around; instead, all the worlds are self-contained action stages.  This does make them seem shorter than in previous games, but there are still plenty of hidden areas strewn about for you to revisit after earning new abilities.  And, on the positive side, that means less faffing about with sidequests than there was in Pirate's Curse.

While the main story failed to engage me, personally, each world comes with their own sub-plots, which have a bit more going for them... okay, still not much.  For example, the bratty genie guardian who takes over Shantae's role as the defender of Scuttle Town is rather unceremoniously brushed off after clearing the desert world.  But they are tied in with some pretty novel settings, like a factory where young maidens are transformed into "counterfeit mermaids" by having big-mouthed fish latch onto their waists, or even a magic-carpet race, which is in essence just a forced-scrolling platforming segment.  It's nice to see that the quirky sense of humour the series has built up over the years is still in full effect.

Shantae's dance transformation ("Danceformation", then?  ...I'll see myself out.) powers make a return after an absence in Pirate's Curse, where... she had a little run-in with the plot.  How they work this time is you hold a button to bring up a menu, and press a direction for the form you want to take.  It's sort of a hybrid of the transformation systems in the first two games, and is one of the more elegant solutions I could think of, since it lets you page through many options at a fast enough rate, while not forcing you to memorise a button sequence like in the first game.  And there are over a dozen transformations for you to unlock, although a little more uniqueness and utility would be appreciated.  Some of them are useless apart from specific situations, especially the mouse, who can go through tiny, maze-like passages and do little else.  And why do we need two separate forms for moving about underwater?

The new method of selecting transformations is both quick and convenient.

The Shantae games seem to go back and forth as to whether its attack items are consumable or meter-limited, and this time around they are once again limited by a magic meter.  As in Risky's Revenge, I like this because it encourages their use, especially since magic pickups are so common.  Then again, you'll be able to deal more damage faster just by upgrading your hair's damage and attack speed.  But late in the game, after completing an arduous collection quest, you can unlock a tiara that gives you infinite magic power, and this combined with the other items, especially the invincibility shield, make 1/2-Genie Hero game-breakingly easy.  I suppose it contrasts with the slightly harder difficulty at the beginning of the game, where you start with fewer heart containers than before, and must rely more heavily on consumable healing items until you start to upgrade yourself.

Freed from the limitations of past 8 and 16-bit platforms, the character art has been completely redone with hand-drawn animations, and it looks gorgeous.  Their animation is extremely fluid, even on huge boss characters like the Giga Mermaid.  On the other hand, the backgrounds are done with 3D models, and they look extremely basic in comparison to the pristine 2D art, their relative lack of detail fits with the cartoonish art style.  This is the same setup that WayForward has used in games like DuckTales Remastered, so you'd think they'd have come up with some way to spice up the backgrounds somehow, but apparently not.  And why is it that when we return to certain worlds, especially the desert world, the backgrounds have so much detail removed from the first time around?  Maybe it's just a bug in the version I played, I don't know.  #PCGamingMasterRace  The soundtrack, once again composed by Jake Kaufman, brings back many melodies from his songs from previous games, but with slight variations. I think its quasi-chiptune sound has a bit of a Sonic influence to it this time around, and coming from me, that is high praise.

Sprite animation is fluid and expressive, especially on bosses like the Giga Mermaid.

1/2-Genie Hero is not the longest game on the market, but none of the other Shantae games are either.  Expect something in the neighbourhood of 6 hours for a 100% clear playthrough, or 3 hours for a speed run, which is shorter than Pirate's Curse was, but less padded.  Alternate modes have been added since the game's initial release, such as the Hero Mode where all your transformations are unlocked from the start, and Hard Core Mode for extra difficulty.  And if you missed the gameplay revolutions brought on by Pirate's Curse, they have been brought back for the alternate campaign, where we play as Risky Boots and unlock her pirate gear for alternate movement techniques.  However, it is sold as separate DLC (US$10), although people who backed the game when it was on KickStarter got it for free.  While I am lucky to count myself as one of those people, this "sectioning off the best parts of the game as DLC" is a troubling habit for WayForward to start picking up, and especially for my beloved Shantae series.

Come to think of it, as a whole, 1/2-Genie Hero puts the Shantae series at a crossroads of concern.  WayForward's approach to sequels is starting to become formulaic.  If WayForward will ever make a sequel to this, they're going to need some cracking good ideas to elevate it above the status quo they've built up, as they did with Pirate's Curse.  That goes doubly if they choose to crowd-fund it, since it's our money on the line.  But don't be too afraid about it just yet, since 1/2-Genie Hero is still quite good.  It's a short, snacky kind of game, but it's incredibly sweet while it lasts.  If nothing else, playing 1/2-Genie Hero, and knowing that there was at least one good game to come out of crowd-funding, allowed me to end 2016 on a much-needed high note.

Positives:
+ Streamlines many of the series' more time-wasting mechanics.
+ Astounding character animations.
+ The Risky Boots campaign.

Negatives:
- Some combinations of upgrades break the game's balance.
- The backgrounds seem a little basic in comparison to the character sprites.
- The Risky Boots campaign as separate DLC.

Control: 5 counterfeit mermaids out of 5
Design: 4 counterfeit mermaids out of 5
Graphics: 4 counterfeit mermaids out of 5
Sound: 5 counterfeit mermaids out of 5
Value: 3 counterfeit mermaids out of 5
The Call: 85% (B+)

You might also like: Shantae and the Pirate's Curse, DuckTales: Remastered, Shovel Knight

Game Review: Mighty No. 9

As you may have noticed, I've taken a hiatus from the SDP over the past year.  I've kind of been focused on other projects, especially my other blog, the Sekai Ichi Japan travel blog.  But I've finally reached a point where I can put that on hold and return to this.  To herald my long-awaited comeback, I'll start off by reviewing a couple of games that came out just last year.  I've had these reviews in the oven for quite a while longer, but haven't found the inspiration to finish them until now.  Maybe I should have published these reviews when they were still relevant, but putting enough time behind me gives me the benefit of cooling down any passions that may influence my criticism for better or worse.  ...Sure, let's go with that.  Now with no further ado, I present to you...

Mighty No. 9

• Publisher: Deep Silver 
• Developer: Comcept / Inti Creates 
• Release Date: 21 June 2016
• Systems: PC, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, XBox 360, XBox One, Wii U, Nintendo 3DS
• Genre: 2D Action (Platformer)
• Players: 1 
• Cost: US$20

Yup, almost three years since its debut announcement on Kickstarter, Mighty No. 9, the second coming of Mega Man in-all-but-name is upon us. And seeing as how I wrote an editorial on this game, in addition to funding it when it was on Kickstarter, I feel an obligation to review the finished product. I endorsed said project back then, but in retrospect I'm not sure why. In that very editorial, I even said I had gotten bored of the original Mega Man formula embraced by its spiritual successor. In fact, I'm actually more of a Sonic and Legend of Zelda kind of guy. (Which explains why I took to Mega Man Legends the way I did; it's basically Zelda with guns.) My expectations weren't the highest, but thankfully I managed to stay out of the drama concerning its repeated delays despite the inordinate amount of money thrown at it by its backers ("Beckers", if you will).

Mighty No. 9 is a jump-and-shoot platformer developed by Comcept and Keiji Inafune, the co-creator of Mega Man.  In other words, Mighty No. 9 is a jump-and-shoot platformer developed by Comcept and Keiji Inafune, the co-creator of Mega Man, or at least as close as it can be without the keys to the licence.  In a world where humans and robots live together, a mysterious event causes robots across the country to go haywire, including the Mighty Numbers 1 through 8, created by Dr. Light Dr. White. But some robots were unaffected, like our player character: the titular Mega Man Mighty No. 9, a.k.a. the not-so-titular Rock Beck. And faster than you can say "soy un perdedor", Beck and Dr. White are on the case to, respectively, restore the mad robots and get to the bottom of all this. In case you haven't figured it out now, the plot is exactly like any given Mega Man game, with the names changed around a bit.

Beck needs to dash into enemies to finish them off.

And so is the gameplay: Beck jumps among platforms, shoots enemy robots, and collects special weapons from defeated bosses. But even this formula gets shaken up, ever so slightly, by Beck's new ability: the dash. This move can be used with the press of a button and is unlimited in use, so if nothing else it is deeply incorporated into the game's design. Dashing is used not just for platforming, but also for attacking: shooting enemies enough turns them unstable, at which point you can dash to finish them off, and get a temporary stat buff in the process.  These boosts not all that noticeable however, and something like extra health or ammo would be much more appreciated.

Sometimes, it's not even worth the effort, especially if an enemy you've just stunned is hovering over a bottomless pit or other trap.  Try tp give it the ol' coup-de-grace, and there's a good prospect that you might mis-time your dash back to the starting platform, and fall to your doom.  But the thing is, you're pressured to do this anyway, since dash-killing baddies right after you disable them builds up a combo counter, which leads to extra points, which lead to... nothing in particular.  So much for that, then.  You could say this approach does help the gameplay stand out among the many other Mega Man titles, but when you get right down to it, is it just extra busy work, when we used to be able to just shoot targets into oblivion? Yes, yes it is. But who am I to complain about new mechanics? Lord knows we had enough Mega Man sequels to prove that making so many games without such a unique selling point isn't the way to go either.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Of course, getting through the stages themselves is only half of the battle; the other half is knowing -- I mean, fighting the bosses. Like in Mega Man, Mighty Numbers 1 through 8 yield their weapons when you defeat them, allowing you to exploit the weaknesses of other bosses with them. Once again, this give the player the challenge of figuring out which boss is weak to which weapon... except not, because you can have the game straight-out tell you what their weaknesses are!  But the thing is, every so often, you have to hit them with a dash to finalize the damage you've just dealt, and if you fail that, they heal that chunk of health you worked so hard to chip off! There are even a number of bosses who possess instant-kill attacks!  Speaking of, there is no reason why spikes still need to be an instant kill, as they are in this very game. To quote the Zero Punctuation review of (the admittedly superior) Shovel Knight:

"We've got bottomless pits for a perfectly functional, if slightly ambiguous, instant kill; we don't need spikes muscling in on their turf! Five minutes ago, a bloke the size of a pregnant bus jumped down and hit me with the metal windsurfing sail that he seems to think is a sword, and it didn't even take off a whole health point. Now I'm being splattered across four dimensions because my elbow brushed against the stucco ceiling. I'm a trifle miffed! I think it's only an instant kill because spikes were an instant kill in Mega Man, but it was just as unnecessary then, too."

That may be true of both games, but you know what Shovel Knight has that Mighty No. 9 doesn't? Infinite lives! Let me quiz you readers on this topic:

Q: Where did lives systems in video game come from?
A: From arcade games, to let the next person in line play (and subsequently, pay) as soon as possible.

Q: Why do console games have lives systems?
A: Because they were ported from arcade games.

Q: Ah, but what if the console game in question was not an arcade port? Why would it have a lives system then?
A: ...I got nothing.

Dashing and precision platforming don't mix, especially when insta-kill spikes or bottomless pits are involved.

See, if you must include a lives system in your game, don't make it mandatory; just include it as an option, like Arcade Mode in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. (Incidentally, why haven't they ever brought Arcade Mode back to CoD? Was their Special-Ops mission mode from Modern Warfare 2 just so revolutionary that they couldn't look back?) And sure, losing all your lives just forces you to restart the level in question, not the whole game, plus you can set your lives to as many as 10 right off the bat. But that's just putting patches on the problem instead of addressing the root cause.

But even if the game did offer infinite lives, there's one more problem which grinds my gears. Each time you die, the game docks you a penalty of 3,000 points. And by the game's standards, 3,000 is a lot of points. This matters because you get grades for your performance upon completing a level. And if you get killed enough that your score ends up at 0, all you get is a meager finishing bonus and a D rank. I guess the idea is that you get better at the stage so you can do it without dying even once, but getting that D the first time around does not leave a good impression of the game, and could very well discourage players from trying them again.

Let's change the subject to something which doesn't cause frustration. In comparison to the old Mega Man games, which couldn't afford a detailed story due to space constraints, Mighty No. 9 does a great job in building up its setting.  The boss characters all have some sort of utility purpose they could have been used for before turning evil, a concept which hasn't been explored since Mega Man 1.  The levels all take place within appropriately-themed industrial sites throughout the USA, plus a level set in the White House, of all places.  Then again, this same level has you chasing down a sniper in a long, looping corridor without checkpoints -- but with more insta-kill spikes, of course -- so they might as well not have bothered.

The limited character animations make most cutscenes feel unfinished.

World-building is one thing, but the graphics which bring that world to life fail to impress.  Sure, a game like this doesn't need too many visual gimmicks to work, but it's still well behind the times. On the one hand, animations like Beck's walk cycle are expressive and bouncy. On the other hand, the animation in cutscenes is considerably more limited, as characters don't move their mouths when they talk! Like, at all!  Even Mega Man Legends, a game that came out two decades ago, animated the character's mouths, and that was just with 2-D textures!  And yet despite it all, the game is somehow a bit poorly-optimised.  Maybe it's just on the PlayStation 3 version I played, but there are quite a few instances of slowdown and frame-skipping.  One such instance even made me miss a ledge and fall to the death!  It's these sort of thing which gives the impression of a game that's only half-baked, and make us wonder where the heck all that money we backed it with went.

In conclusion, Mighty No. 9 is basically this generation's Daikatana, for there are many coincidental similarities between the two games.  Both were developed by brand-new studios started by game designers with quite a bit of pedigree behind them.  Both were announced three years ahead of their eventual release, during which time their developments were plagued with accusations of mis-management amidst vast budgets, not to mention some insulting advertisements.  And when the actual games came out, their almost-admirable attempts at world-building were overshadowed by game mechanics which work against the player, graphics which seemed a whole generation behind the times, and were general disappointments at best.  Not to mention, they are both tangentially related to actually good games by developers who had their heads screwed on tighter.  For Daikatana, it was Deus Ex, by the "good" half of Ion Storm.  And for Mighty No. 9, that would be Azure Striker Gunvolt by Inti Creates, who coincidentally also did work on this game.  Perhaps I should review Gunvolt myself one day, but in the meantime, I think I've got the perfect tagline to describe this whole affair: "Keiji Inafune is about to make you his b!tch."

Suck it down, ladies and gentlemen.  But until next time, this is IchigoRyu.

You are the resistance.

Positives:
+ Promising world-building.
+ The bonus challenge missions.
+ Expressive characters and animations.

Negatives:
- The dash-to-kill mechanic is an unnecessary addition forced upon us.
- Relentlessly difficult, even without the lives system.

- Extremely basic graphics and sub-par optimisation.

Control: 3 spikes out of 5
Design: 1 spikes out of 5
Audiovisual: 2 spikes out of 5
Value: 3 spikes out of 5
The Call: 50% (D)

You might like instead: Azure Striker Gunvolt, Shovel Knight, Strider

Comic Book Review: Ms. Marvel

Ms. Marvel

• Publisher: Marvel Comics 
• Writer: G. Willow Wilson 
• Artists: Adrian Alphona, et. al. 
• Editor: Sana Amanat 
• Release: 05 February 2014 - 14 October 2015 

Call it crazy, but I'm not that familiar with American superhero comics. Yes, I'm well-acquainted with the sequential art form, and have even dabbled in it myself, but much of that experience comes from webcomics or Japanese manga. And I do have a working knowledge of the characters of that medium, but most of it comes from the other corners of their pop-culture exposure, especially their movies. Still, every so often a bit of news comes out of the comic-book sphere which captures my attention to some degree. For example, when I heard about the new Ms. Marvel series from 2014, I was intrigued, because this new interpretation of the character would represent a heroic role model for a people long marginalized in not just this medium, but society in macrocosm: people from Jersey City! Oh, and Muslims. Ms. Marvel is the first Muslim-American hero to come out of Marvel Comics' lineup. I guess I should have mentioned that first.

So yeah. This series stars a sixteen-year-old, Pakistani-American girl named Kamala Khan. (If you read her name without thinking of Captain Kirk's immortal scream from Star Trek II, you are stronger-willed than I. Even the series itself falls victim to it later on.) Well, on her way home from a bad party, she finds herself enveloped in a strange mist, sees a vision of Captain Marvel, Iron Man, and Captain America reciting Urdu poetry, and the next thing she knows, she has shapeshifting powers. First of all, a disclaimer: I am not making any of that up. Second, you may be wondering, as did I, how did this event come about? Surely it was a completely random occurrence, you might think. Well apparently, this mist was the product of something called a Terrigen bomb, which awoke various powers in a select few people. I'm guessing this happened in a different story, so a little extra knowledge on current events in the Marvel universe would not go amiss.

So enough about Kamala as a superhero, how is she as a Muslim character? See, here's the thing: if I told you, without any other context whatsoever, that someone at Marvel was creating a Muslim hero, odds are your impression of her would be that her appearance, or even her powers, would be an obvious, overly basic representation of her religious heritage.

For example. [1]  And that would not be farther from the truth. In fact, one of the things that struck me the most about Kamala, both in her civilian and hero personae, is that apart from when attending her local mosque, she never wears a headscarf. Now, as an outsider, I have my own preconceptions about Muslims. Not that they are all terrorists out to destroy the Western world, perish the thought. Heck, I'd go so far as to say that over 99% of Muslims are law-abiding citizens. But I still tend to instinctively identify them as, for lack of a better term, some kind of "Stop Having Fun" guys; I mean, they strictly adhere to certain rules which I may or may not view as reasonable. Speaking as an outsider, I'm not a fan of the hijab in principle. I wouldn't go yanking off the hijabs of women I pass walking by or anything, but I'd prefer them to stop and think about why they wear it. For what it's worth, both the writer (G. Willow Wilson) and editor (Sana Amanat) are Muslim women (either by birth or conversion), and also grew up in Jersey City to boot, so I have faith that they know what they're doing.

The situations Kamala deals with in her civilian life are actually quite universal.

Even so, the restrictions Kamala's parents try (and fail) to put on her have less to do with their religion, and are more so the concerns of parents trying to keep their child safe and out of trouble. The most important thing about building a character like this, is that they shouldn't be defined by only one trait (Islam, in this case). It's a complex issue, and there's no golden ratio to follow every time, but if I could personally give you a piece of advice: nobody likes a one-trick pony. [2]  Indeed, Kamala is no one-trick pony. She's a self-professed geek who enjoys playing not-World Of Warcraft, singing along with old Bollywood movies, and writing Avengers fan-fiction (Mind you, the Avengers are real people in her universe). She even has fangirl freak-outs when she meets other heroes like Wolverine, Spider-Man, Loki, and the original Ms. Marvel, Carol Danvers, in the flesh, as it were. She bristles against her strict parents, and sometimes endures bullying from her peers, but they all manage to see the good in each other in the end. She barely even wears a hijab; only when going to services at her local mosque, or on other special occasions. And the one moment I connected with her the most with had nothing to do with her religion.

Without spoiling too much (outside of spoiler tags, that is), the villain of the first arc has convinced a number of teens to submit themselves to his evil plan, namely to use their bodies as a clean energy source. Kamala manages to talk them out of it by convincing them that, despite the older generations branding them as useless, their talents can still be used to build a better world with them in it. What struck me about this passage is that the villain's logic parallels the way ISIL and other terror groups attempt to recruit young members, by making them think they're standing up for their brethren, when in fact they're just throwing their lives away, in some cases literally, all for killing their fellow man. And do you want to know the funny thing about all this? Not once is Islam even referred to in this case. It just goes to show the power comic books have, to use these more fantastical stories as allegories to real-life affairs, without coming across as forced. And then the villain, a reincarnation of Thomas Edison with a bird's head, barges in on a robot wearing a bowler hat, because comics are weird like that.

DISCLAIMER: I was not making up that robot-bowler-hat thing.

So, enough of the heavy stuff; let's get technical. Ms. Marvel has had numerous artists throughout its run, but most issues were drawn by Adrian Alphona. His style is... an acquired taste, shall I say, because it's kind of sketchy.  Literally, anyway.  That may bug some people and not others, so if I may make a more objective observation, I do like the numerous background jokes he throws in here and there. For example, Kamala can be seen in a few panels eating her preferred breakfast cereal called "GMO's" (a play on Cheerios and Genetically Modified Organisms, if you didn't get it). My personal favourite artist to have worked on Ms. Marvel is Takeshi Miyazawa from issues #13-15, whose style is far cleaner and more closely resemble true manga, but again, that's just my opinion.

I came in to Ms. Marvel expecting a different, more positive, portrayal of Muslims in America, and I got that all right, but so much more on top of it. I got somebody trying to find her own place in an unforgiving world, but rising up at the end of it all to stand up for my generation, as a Millenial. And while the ending of this 19-issue series wasn't quite satisfying, there is thankfully a second Ms. Marvel series, continuing to this day, picking up where the first one left off (as part of the franchise-wide "All-New, All-Different Marvel" quasi-reboot). This year I've started getting into western superhero comics, and I couldn't ask for a better jumping-on point than Ms. Marvel. Thank you, Kamala Khan, for teaching me how to love again.

Positives:

+ Kamala Khan is a positive role model for... just about everyone.

+ Well-written characters, whether they represent minorities or not.

+ Plenty of humourous background details.

Negatives:

- The first series sort of ends on a whimper.

- Adrian Alphona's art style is a bit sketchy.

Dialogue: 5 robot bowler hats out of 5
Plot: 4 robot bowler hats out of 5
Characters: 5 robot bowler hats out of 5
Artwork: 4 robot bowler hats out of 5
The Call: 90% (A-)

Furthermore, if I may be allowed to editorialise for a bit: Ms. Marvel, both the series and the character herself, are perfect reasons why Donald Trump should not be elected President of the United States. Although Kamala herself was born in Jersey City, her parents emigrated from Pakistan before she was born. If a president like Trump were calling the shots at the time, Kamala's parents would never have made it to America, and her story would not even have the chance to have happened. So that's two strikes against his racist isolation doctrine. Whereas the world according to Trump collectively sorts people into preordained and assumed roles, I, on the other hand, personally believe that everybody in this world has the potential to contribute to their society. This also ties into what was the most emotionally engaging moment I read in the series thus far: the bit where Ms. Marvel encouraged all those teenagers not to throw their lives away, and contribute to a better society in their own ways. As the great philosopher Bobby Nunn once said, "Don't knock it until you try it".

I'm IchigoRyu, and I approve this message.

You are the resistance.

---

[1] Wilstein, Matt. "Twitter Goes After Conan O'Brien for 'Racist' Muslim Female Superhero Joke". Mediaite, 9 November 2013. http://www.mediaite.com/online/twitter-goes-after-conan-obrien-for-racist-muslim-female-superhero-joke/

[2] MrEnter. "Avoiding Unfortunate Implications: The Characters". deviantART, 10 April 2016. http://mrenter.deviantart.com/art/Avoiding-Unfortunate-Implications-The-Characters-602166339

Film Review: Spectre

There's a pattern I've noticed with the James Bond series. For any given set of entries starring a particular actor, the fourth entry is the one where things go bad. For Pierce Brosnan, it was Die Another Day, which sucked. For Roger Moore, it was Moonraker, which sucked. For Sean Connery, it was Thunderball, which... didn't exactly suck, but still wasn't as good as the last movies. And now we come to the fourth Bond film to star Daniel Craig. Will it manage to break the "fourth-film curse" or not? Find out in an encore presentation of the 007 Golden Jubilee!

Spectre

• Publisher: MGM / Columbia 
• Studio: Danjaq / EON Productions 
• Genre: Action 
• Release: 26 October 2015 (UK), 6 November 2015 (US) 
• Director: Sam Mendes 
• Producers: Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli 
• Writers: John Logan, Neil Purvis, Robert Wade, Jez Butterworth

The Girls: The primary Bond Girl is Dr. Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux), a psychologist and the daughter of Mr. White from Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. For most of her role, she keeps complaining about the way Bond protects her from the bad guys, so her chemistry with Bond starts out rockier, and she doesn't exactly leave the best first impression. I will say that unlike most of his flings these days, Bond does seem to earn his night of sex with her, coming after they fight off Mr. Hinx. Rides off into the sunset... er, cloudy London morning with Bond. 3 out of 5.

Earlier on, Bond has a fling with Lucia Sciarra (Monica Belucci), the widow of a Spectre assassin. Being 50 years old during filming, signora Belucci is the oldest actress to play a Bond Girl. This decision caused some controversy among netizens, to which Craig (himself 47 years old) said, he's just dating women his own age. Well said. Still, wrinkles aside, Lucia Sciarra is basically an older version of Severine from the last movie. She's basically there for Bond to protect, get information from, screw, and forget about. And feminism marches on! ...Without them. Left under CIA protection. 3 out of 5.

The Villain: Franz Oberhauser, a.k.a. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Christoph Waltz), the leader of Spectre. He has a backstory with Bond: after Bond's parents died in a mountain-climbing accident, Franz and his father adopted him, only to allegedly die later on. I could probably best describe his portrayal as a cross between Donald Pleasance as Blofeld (from You Only Live Twice) and Javier Bardem as Silva (from Skyfall). In other words, he goes for the subdued menace of the former but cannot quite achieve it, ending up a bit quirky and too casual, which stands out especially considering the work he's done with Quentin Tarantino. Herr Waltz seems like he would be more at home portraying someone like Steve Jobs (although to be fair, you could say Apple is basically a real-world evil organisation anyway, lol) Arrested by M. 4 out of 5.

Other Henchmen: Mr. Hinx (Dave Bautista), a hitman working for Spectre. Just as Silva from Skyfall proved to be the first iconic villain of the post-reboot era, Mr. Hinx could very well be its first iconic henchman character. In many ways, Hinx is reminiscent of Oddjob from Goldfinger. They both have similar physiques, hardly ever speak, can hold their own against Bond, and even their actors are both Asian-ethnic Americans with backgrounds in pro wrestling. Although, his introductory scene, where he kills a fellow Spectre member by jamming his thumbs in the guy's eyes, is a little hard to watch. Thrown off a train by Bond. 5 out of 5.

Max Denbigh, a.k.a. C (Andrew Scott), the head of the private Joint Intelligence Service. As it turns out, he is in fact working for Spectre, who intends to use the countries' intelligence against them. C, as he is nicknamed by Bond, is just a touch snarky and not exactly apologetic about stealing M's job. I could imagine him working out as 007's new boss, if not for the fact that he already got a new one in the last movie. And besides, Ralph Fiennes's M is just badass. Accidentally falls to his death in a fight with M. 4 out of 5.

The Gadgets: Q (Ben Whishaw) introduces to 007 the Aston Martin DB10, which exists only a concept car in the real world, and here comes equipped with guns, a flamethrower, and an ejection seat... only to give it to agent 009 instead and leave Bond with a watch. To be fair, the watch has a time bomb inside. That doesn't stop Bond from stealing the car anyway and using it in a chase with Hinx's Jaguar C-X75, another prototype car you will never be able to buy.

The Locations: Mexico City, Rome, Austria, Morocco, and London. The Mexico City scene was filmed during the Day of the Dead festival, as the opening one-take shot brilliantly shows off.

The Theme Song: "Writing's On the Wall" by Sam Smith. Sam Smith has always struck me as being a technically talented vocalist, who wastes his range on the most boring songs, and "Writing's On the Wall" is the most egregious example of this paradigm. In fact, this very song won my wildcard slot for Most Boring Song at this year's SDP Music Awards, if you recall. The song itself is about standing up to impending doom, but coming from Sam Smith, I don't feel it. He sounds too weak-willed, especially when you compare it to stuff like Tom Jones in "Thunderball", and even Adele's theme from Skyfall. I don't want to be too hard on this song, because it is melodically beautiful and has a few good themes in the lyrics. But I don't know, it's just not something I'd want to listen to outside of this movie. 2 out of 5.

The alternative-rock band Radiohead also submitted their own title song, simply named "Spectre". Obviously it was passed over, for some reason, but the band released it themselves online, at https://soundcloud.com/radiohead/spectre. It has the same kind of orchestral ambience of the Sam Smith song, but with an actual drum track... which I'm honestly not a fan of. Its irregular pattern tends to throw me off. And honestly, it's not too much of an improvement on the not-boring front, even if it does build up to something musically. I for one won't lose sleep over its exclusion in the film, but I guess you have to be a fan of the band in order to appreciate it fully.

The Opening Credits: Features ink and octopus motifs. The octopus has long been a symbol of the Spectre group, with the animal's tentacles symbolising the insidious reach their activities have all over the world -- AND NOTHING ELSE. There also flashbacks to characters from earlier in the Daniel Craig series (like what they did for On Her Majesty's Secret Service), re-creations of locations seen later in the film, and some shirtless shots of Bond in between all the silhouette girls, presumably in the interest of equal-opportunity fanservice. 4 out of 5.

The Source Material: The SPECTRE organization has largely been avoided in the official James Bond film canon, due to its ownership dispute between Ian Fleming and Kevin McClory. But you already knew that. Well, it turns out that in 2013, MGM, Danjaq, and the McClory estate finally settled the issue, returning the film rights of the Spectre name to MGM. However, I've noticed that in this movie, no one refers to Spectre by its old acronym (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion), so either that wasn't accounted for in their deal, or they just nixed it for the retcon.

The Plot: Our story starts in Mexico City, where James Bond foils a terrorist attack during the Day of the Dead festival, and steals a ring belonging to one of the perpetrators. Cue opening credits. Back in London, the new M is displeased over the collateral damage from that operation, and has 007 suspended. But what he doesn't know is that Bond was following instructions from his predecessor (the one played by Judi Dench), who sent him on the trail of a secretive criminal organisation. Bond uses the ring he found, along with the widow of one of the attackers, to infiltrate a meeting of this organisation, named Spectre. Meanwhile, M and the 00 section are being dogged by a man unofficially code-named C, who is the head of a new private intelligence company. In addition to shutting down M's department, C also campaigns for the formation of "Nine Eyes", an intelligence-sharing network of member nations, including Britain.

Meanwhile (again), based on intel taken from the Spectre meeting, Bond heads to the Austrian alps to meet Mr. White, who left his Quantum organisation (but not before being mortally poisoned). He tells Bond to find and protect his daughter, Madeline Swann, before committing suicide. From there, Bond travels to the clinic where Swann works, and rescues her from Hinx and his Spectre goons. Q also tags along, using the ring from before to discover that the villains from the last three films were, in fact, being controlled by Spectre. From there (again), the two head to a hotel in Tangier, Morocco, where Mr. White hid a secret room with information on a secret Spectre base in the desert. They get there by train, fighting off Hinx along the way.

At the desert base, Bond and Swann are greeted by the leader of Spectre, now named Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Blofeld announces to Bond that he was the mastermind behind the events in the previous movies. He captures and attempts to torture Bond, but Bond escapes and torches the place. Back in London, Bond returns to join forces with M and their other ex-MI6 friends, in order to stop the Nine Eyes program from going online. M and Q succeed in doing so, with C accidentally dying, to boot. Meanwhile, Bond and Swann are captured and taken to the old MI6 building (the one from Goldeneye on), which is about to be demolished. Bond rescues Swann, escapes the building in time, and shoots down Blofeld's helicopter. As Blofeld crawls out of the wreckage, he is arrested by M, leaving Bond to ride off with Swann.

The one word I would use to describe Spectre is "redundant". It tackles a bunch of themes already addressed by previous movies. Most notably, there's the question of whether or not the 00 agents are necessary in today's intelligence climate, which was already answered by the very last movie before this. Although, the NSA leaks from 2013 arguably make this discussion more relevant this time around. Apart from all that, there are many plot points from, and other references the rest of the series, almost to the degree of Die Another Day. And Spectre doesn't even have the excuse of being a milestone celebration! I mean, who commemorates a 53rd anniversary as a special occasion? And it's not just within the Bond franchise -- at a basic level, the plot is virtually identical to that of the recent Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. It even has scenes in Austria, Morocco, and London, to boot! Intentional or not, it sure was savvy of Paramount to move their movie's release up to the summer, instead of trying to compete with Spectre in November.

Also, I can't help noticing how many funny moments there are in this movie. The highlight of humour has to be the early car chase between Bond and Hinx, where the former tries and fails to use his car's gadgets, and later on gets blocked by an old man in a Fiat. They stand out because of the more serious portrayal of James Bond during Daniel Craig's tenure, and this very movie is no exception. Arguably, this just makes the humour funnier, as the jokes' juxtaposition against the rest of the movie's hard-edged tone offers effective contrast. I don't know about you, but I'd take that over a hundred Roger Moore one-liners. Quality over quantity, people.

Speaking as a longtime James Bond fan, Spectre left me more confused than anything. The film attempts to retcon into existence a backstory which links all of the Daniel Craig entries together, when they worked well enough without it. (Although I will say, the involvement of the Spectre group would make Silva's escape and assassination plot from Skyfall quite a bit more plausible.) Writers, just because you can use the Spectre name to replace whatever you were building beforehand doesn't mean you should! But all the same, it doesn't exactly bring those other movies down; it just gives the impression that the writers were making up stuff as they went along. So, is Spectre still a worthwhile film? Yes, actually. The action setpieces are brilliant, the big reveal is built up well, and its musings on the role of intelligence in today's world are still relevant. So yeah, the fourth-film curse probably does apply here: it may be the worst Daniel Craig 007 film, but by no means is it truly bad.

The Call: 75% (B-)

Film Review: When Marnie Was There vs. Inside Out

When Marnie Was There Publisher: Toho (JP), GKIDS / Universal (NA)  Production Company: Studio Ghibli  Genre: Drama  Release: 19 July 2014 (JP), 22 May 2015 (NA)  Director: Hiromasa Yonebayashi  Producers: Yoshiaki Nishimura, Toshio Suzuki  Writers: Masashi Andō, Keiko Niwa, Hiromasa Yonebayashi	Inside Out Publisher: Disney  Production Company: Walt Disney Pictures / Pixar Animation Studios  Genre: Comedy / Drama  Release: 19 June 2015  Directors: Pete Docter, Ronnie del Carmen  Producer: Jonas Rivera  Writers: Pete Docter, Meg LeFauve, Josh Cooley

Welp, another year, another Academy Awards ceremony. And you know what that means: they're gonna give the Best Animated Feature award to the Disney/Pixar behemoth. It happened to Frozen over The Wind Rises, it happened to Big Hero 6 over The Tale of The Princess Kaguya, and odds are it'll happen again. I've been preparing for the worst, especially since the "big one" of 2015, Pixar's Inside Out, is going up against When Marnie Was There, the last feature film Studio Ghibli may ever make. In a past article, I told you how I saw Marnie in theatres, despite its limited release, and enjoyed it. Well, in the interest of voting with my wallet, I refused to do the same for Inside Out, even when they gave it an encore run for Labor Day. Eventually I rented the movie and, I'm ashamed to say it... it was awesome. But then I realised something: both Marnie and Inside Out tackle the same basic story in different ways. Marnie focuses on the characters themselves, whereas Inside Out focuses on what's going on inside the main character's mind, with her personified emotions. So, I thought, now would be the best time to do another joint review on the two movies. That way, I can pre-empt the Academy more substantially than just a joke at the end of my last article.

In When Marnie Was There, our central character is Anna "no, not that one" Sasaki (EN: Hayley Steinfeld, JP: Sara Takatsuki), a twelve-year-old girl living in Hokkaido, who is shy but loves drawing. When she suffers an athsma attack, her foster parents send her to live out to a seaside village with her aunt and uncle. While exploring her new surroundings, she comes across a dilapidated mansion, and in the window, a blonde girl of her age named Marnie (EN: Kiernan Shipka, JP: Kasumi Arimura). Over the next few nights, she starts spending time with Marnie, building their freindship and uncovering the mysteries behind Marnie's life, as well as her own.

So yeah, Marnie sticks rather closely to the Ghibli playbook. But, as it turns out, this movie was based on a novel of the same name, written by the British author Joan G. Robinson in 1967. Studio Ghibli has adopted Western literature before; Howl's Moving Castle and The Secret World of Arietty (a.k.a. The Borrowers) spring to mind. The central plot device of Marnie, if there is one, is figuring out what the deal is with its titular character. Is she a real girl? Is she a ghost? Is she a figment of Anna's imagination? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Without wishing to spoil, the way they explain all of this in the final act is kind of rushed. I mean, Anna doesn't even start her investigation into Marnie's past until halfway through the movie!

The feels that Marnie generates are weapons-grade.

But what the film lacks in a good overarcing plot, it makes up for in the individual moments that comprise the plot. When I was watching, I found myself lost in the emotions of the main characters: joy when they're playing together, sadness when they're sharing their darkest secrets, and bittersweet resignation when it's time for Anna to leave. (Sort of like Ghibli themselves.) To put it another way, this is what I wished Frozen was like when reviewed it: it focuses solely on its two main characters and how they develop together. And I have to give a shout-out to the foley artist, because the sound effects in this movie are amazing. For some reason, I don't normally notice this sort of thing, but when certain scenes go on without music and even dialog, you have to notice them. And from the waves lapping at the creaking wood of a rowboat, the sound effects do even more to build upon the ambience of some scenes.

Having re-watched When Marnie Was There, I seem to have enjoyed it less than I did at first. If it wanted to have the mystery of Marnie be its driving plot thread, they should have spaced out its developments more evenly across the film, rather than bunch them all up near the end. And some of Anna's behaviours are downright bizarre, although I suppose they do illustrate the gaping void in her mental state that only Marnie can fill. In conclusion, is it Studio Ghibli's best effort? Probably not, although they have set the bar so phenomenally high for themselves in the past, mind you. If you don't mind not having a strong plot to hook you from one scene to the next, and can get by on the scenes themselves, I would still recommend When Marnie Was There.

---

Meanwhile, in Inside Out, our central character is Riley Andersen (Kaitlyn Dias), an eleven-year-old girl living in Minnesota, who is goofy but honest, and loves hockey. The difference here is that much of the movie is, in fact, portrayed from the point of view of personified emotions living in her head. In order of introduction, they are Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), and Anger (Lewis Black). These emotions control Riley's actions at the appropriate moments, generating memories tied to those emotions. But then, everything changes when when her family moves to San Francisco. Due to a series of unfortunate events, Joy and Sadness get stranded together outside their headquarters and must venture back somehow.

The world of Riley's psyche is nothing short of a joy to behold. Functions of the brain are illustrated in inventive ways, such as the formation of memories, ideas, personality traits, and dreams. A highlight is when Joy and Sadness wander into a section of Riley's mind where new general ideas abstracted from specific ones. In the movie, this means that Joy and Sadness are devolved into low-polygon and eventually 2D forms as they try to escape. Sure, nothing comes about from it in practice and it is never brought up again (making it the movie's "Big Lipped Alligator Moment"), but the process they go through shows great research of psychology on the part of the writers. I mean, as far as I know about psychology. We also get to see glimpses of similar mental setups of different characters here and there, each tailored to their own personality.

Inside Out's settings look like they came straight from the mind of Willy Wonka -- almost literally.

What Inside Out has over Marnie is how it manages to create suspence to hook the viewer in. For example, in Riley's head there exist five "personality islands", depicting her interests and personality traits. Over the course of her mental breakdown, the island crumble into the bottomless pit below. We are told that whatever falls down there, i.e. memories that are no longer needed, can never return. But later on in the story, Joy falls down there herself, where said pit is decidedly non-bottomless, and of course she comes back out of it. And of course she does it with the help of someone who sacrifices himself to let her escape. So, it would seem that Inside Out isn't above employing the odd sappy cliche here and there, albeit rarely. Although I will give them credit for actually showing her eventual mode of egress falling into the pit earlier on. Let that be but one example of Pixar's attention to detail.

While I'm nitpicking, isn't it a bit lopsided for Riley to have one "positive" emotion, namely Joy, and four "negative" ones, especially when the one Joy gets stuck with, Sadness, has a bad habit of converting memories to sad ones by touching them? To the film's credit, and without wishing to spoil, they do address this. Speaking of the emotions, one of the most important things to keep in mind when assembling a cast of voice actors is for each actor to sound distinct from one another. I'm proud to say that this is another of Inside Out's strengths. Amy Poehler was perfectly cast as Joy, although I did love her on Saturday Night Live to begin with. The other emotion characters also manage to bring their titular personality traits through by their voice alone.

My prejudices against CG animation being what they are, "pleasantly surprised" doesn't begin to describe my experience with Inside Out. Mind you, Marnie managed to get those emotions across to the viewer without needing to personify them. But if you ask me, Inside Out had the better story, and getting to witness such creative sights along the way was a bonus. There are a few stupid or silly moments to nitpick, but they are rare and don't represent the film as a whole. All things considered, I would recommend both films for different reasons. If you want straight-up, weapons-grade feels, try out When Marnie Was There. If you want a gripping story to go with those feels, go with Inside Out. It's a big world out there, certainly big enough for both of them.

When Marnie Was There Positives: + Individual scenes are packed with emotion. + Deals with a number of complex themes. + Brilliant sound-effect work. Negatives: - For less patient viewers, it lacks a suspenceful hook. - Retreads more than a few story tropes covered by past Ghibli films. - The rushed conclusion. Acting: 4 emotions out of 5 Writing: 3 emotions out of 5 Design: 4 emotions out of 5 Audiovisual: 5 emotions out of 5 The Call: 80% (B)

Inside Out Positives: + Well-researched and creative interpretations of the brain's functions. + Terriffic voice-acting that complements each character's personality. Negatives: - It has a few minor plot holes. Acting: 5 emotions out of 5 Writing: 4 emotions out of 5 Design: 5 emotions out of 5 Audiovisual: 5 emotions out of 5 The Call: 95% (A)

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In the end, I may not like to admit it, but not only do I think Inside Out is the better movie, I probably wouldn't lose sleep if it won the Best Animated Feature Oscar. But that's not the whole story. There's this thing called the Annie Awards, which has been going on since 1972, and honours animation in movies, television, and even video games. Ghibli's movies have been nominated for the Annie's Best Animated Feature awards several times over, and just like in the Oscars, failed to actually win.

But this time around, for the 43rd Annie Awards held on 6 February 2016, they added a new category: "Best Animated Feature - Independent", and I'm glad they did. This means that films with lower profiles but bigger hearts don't have to compete against our mainstream monstrosities. Not that such "mainstream monstrosities" can't also have heart, as we learned in this article. But the important thing is that now, for once, the underdogs have a more level playing field.

Oh, and for the record, the winner of the independent award was the Brazilian feature Boy and the World. It looks great, but given the fate of Studio Ghibli, I can't help but feel a little disappointed... Studio Ghibli may be dead, or just in a coma depending on whim you talk to, but another door to the wider world of animation is opening to us. Let's keep opening more doors, shall we?

This is IchigoRyu.

You are the resistance.

SDP Music Awards 2015 (Part 2)

Previously on the SDP, I kicked off the inaugural SDP Music Awards, leaving only two categories aside for a second post: the Worst Song and Best Song of 2015.  As explained earlier, I did this setup instead of my usual top-tens to explore some alternate options for evaluating the year's audio output, and to hopefully cut down on the writing I'd have to do (which sort of backfired).  But as I was compiling nominees for the worst and best lists below, I found myself adding more and more until I hit ten for each, at which point I decided to myself, "You know what?  Let's just do top tens anyway!"  And thus I ranked them all up from 10 to 1 with a little description for each, although shorter than usual because like I said, I tried to do less work with this.  As a reminder, all entries must have made it onto the Billboard year-end Hot 100 Songs chart for 2015, and songs which appeared on said chart for previous years are disqualified.  So, sorry Ed Sheeran, it's great that "Don't" made a return appearance on their list, but I already got around to praising it this time last year.  With that out of the way, let's get the SDP Music Awards wrapped up and over with.

Worst Song

10) "Post to Be" by Omarion, Jhene Aiko, and Chris Brown (#24)
First of all, it's "supposed to be", not "post to be".  Second, Chris Brown.  Third, produced by DJ Mustard.  Fourth, the line "eat her [noun] like groceries".  Enough said.

9) "Hit the Quan" by iLoveMemphis (#83)
This iLoveMemphis guy, whomever he is, sounds like a yowling maniac, and repeatedly fails to keep the beat while rapping.  Although to be fair, I don't think any rapper or singer could have salvaged this dumb material.  If nothing else, at least it's only the second-worst dance-rap song on list!

8) "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth & Meghan Trainor (#75)
Charlie, just invoking the name of Marvin Gaye without adopting any of his musical stylings will not rub his greatness off on you.  Instead, it just leaves you with the dorkiest and un-sexiest sex song since "Afternoon Delight".  As for Meghan Trainor, this only cemented her status as an emotionally disconnected dork only your mom could love.

7) "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town (#63)
Little Big Town made a song about a lesbian romance!  ...Not really.  For example, "I want to taste her lips / Yeah, 'cause they taste like you".  The fact that country radio stations turned their back on this song, when it wasn't really all that racy, speaks volumes about their conservative society, but this song's so boring and toothless anyway, so I'll take any excuse!

6) "No Type" by Rae Sremmurd (#70)
The boys of Rae Sremmurd are quick to boast they have no type in women, only to immediately contradict themselves by adding, "bad [noun]es is the only thing that I like".  And the rest of the song has nothing to do with that statement whatsoever.  The only reason this isn't higher is because they also made "No Flex Zone", which I missed last year but is somehow even worse.

5) "Dear Future Husband" by Meghan Trainor (#74)
Much has been made about how this song self-imposes a domestic role for women, and they're not wrong, but to be honest, it doesn't have an uplifting message for men either, and Meghan comes across as nothing short of catty and demanding.  Bottom line, this song was a mistake for her image.

4) "Ayo" by Chris Brown & Tyga (#86)
I already railed on "Ayo" in the "Most Generic Rap/R&B Song".  The jist of that spiel was that Chris Brown is one of the least likable figures in all of music.

3) "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony & Kid Ink (#23)
Combining the horn riff from Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty", an barebones beat a la DJ Mustard, a hook consisting of a single repeated line, and a rap verse from Kid Ink which he ever so slyly copies verbatim later in the song, "Worth It" is not.

2) "Only" by Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lil' Wayne, and Chris Brown (#51)

Between the disgusting lyrical content, the creepy four-note beat, and half the performers, the song reminds me most of is Weezy's own "Love Me" (no), which as you may recall clinched my bottom spot a couple of years ago.  And while "Only" didn't leave me feeling quite so unclean, it did so more than any other song this year.  Except perhaps...

1) "Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)" by Silentó (#8)

Holy crow, did I finally manage to do a bottom-ten list without putting Lil' Wayne and/or Chris Brown at the "top" spot!?  This calls for a celebration!  How about a dance party?  Wait, DJ, don't put on "Watch Me"!  FUUUU--

Out of all the nominees, this is the only one which I could not get through all the way. I mean it, literally, I could never bring myself to finish listening to this song. And it's not a long one either; it clocks in at a shade over three minutes.  See, as I described when awarding Silentó my Worst New Artist "award", "Watch Me parentheses Whip slash Nae-Nae end parentheses" consists entirely of him asking you to watch him do the Whip.  And the Nae-Nae.  And all manner of other dance steps that people have been using in Vine videos and such that have until now totally passed me by.  He ya jerk, don't you know that ignorance is bliss?  I usually drop out when he brings up the Superman from Soulja Boy Tell'Em's "Crank That", which as I recall, was a previous title holder for "Worst Song of All Time".  Well, that throne is now occupied by... "Love Me" (no) by Lil' Wayne.  I just... I still can't get over that song!  But "Watch Me" is still really freaking terrible, so much that I had to christen it the worst song of 2015.

Best Song

10) "Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer (#25)

"Honey, I'm Good" is a folksy, hokey, but charming song about a man who's in a relationship and denies the advances of another girl, which is a message I can get behind.  I don't mean to be a Moral Orel or anything, but in the midst of all these other songs about stealing YOUR girlfriend, dang it, somebody has to take a stand against that [noun]!

9) "Time of Our Lives" by Pitbull & Ne-Yo (#39)
Pitbull has finally learned that if you're stuck with a painfully limited palette of topics to rap about, you might as well be genre-savvy about one of them.  Having Ne-Yo and a euro-house groove on hand help this song's standing as well.

8) "Can't Feel My Face" by The Weeknd (#12)
The Weeknd managed to channel none short of Michael Jackson for one of the most engaging musical performances of 2015.

7) "Love Me Like You Do" by Ellie Goulding (#13)
Between Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey, which "Love Me Like You Do" comes from, what is it with horrible romance movies having such great soundtracks?  Maybe it's just my tastes, but I was attracted to "Love Me Like You Do" for its epic pop sound that I thought we had lost after Phil Collins retired from music.  As was also the case with...

6) "Take Me to Church" by Hozier (#14)
I know I nominated this for Most Boring Song, but the quiet parts of "Take Me to Church" manage to accentuate the louder parts, already powerful with their cathedral-like echoes, even more.  Hozier knows how to build an atmosphere with music.

5) "Style" by Taylor Swift (#29)

After so many years of dissing ex-flames with the power of hindsight, Taylor Swift finally switches it up and presents the romance of a relationship in medias res.  It was also the first single from her 1989 album which even remotely sounded like it belonged in the year the album was named after.

4) "Downtown" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee, and Grandmaster Caz (#84)
Somewhere between "Thrift Shop" and "White Walls" in its subject matter, Macklemore wrote a song that made going out on a moped sound awesome, and the chorus of golden-age rappers adds some well-deserved vintage street cred.

3) "Hello" by Adele (#35)
A heartfelt, if inconsistently passive-aggressive, reunion song that even manages to serve as a sequel to her breakup singles from her 21 album.  And unlike Sam Smith's works, it actually builds up its slow start over the course of the song. into something that's not short of grand.

2) "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars (#1)
Mark Ronson's '80s-funk production and Bruno Mars's Morris Day-slash-James Brown delivery make "Uptown Funk" one of the most positively unique songs of the year -- or the past few years, even.

1) "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk The Moon (#6)
Whereas picking the "winner" for the worst song of 2015 was a cinch, settling on a best song was considerably harder.  For much of the year, I was torn between "Uptown Funk" and "Shut Up and Dance".  "Hello" made a strong case for itself later on, however its slow start may turn off some listeners (myself excluded, thankfully), and Adele sort of wavers on whether she truly wants to make up with the guy she's calling, or whether she just wants to flaunt their breakup in his face.

So, going back to my original dilemma, "Shut Up and Dance" won out in the end.  It and "Uptown Funk" had a lot of the same things going for them.  They were packed full of bouncy energy which allowed me to give them many, many repeated listens.  But in the end, the deciding factor was their lyrical focus.  "Uptown Funk" was all about Bruno Mars esentially boasting about his swag.  Of course he could still back up his claims, but there was a little more to "Shut Up and Dance", which recounts a dance-floor date with some Manic Pixie Dream Girl, with just enough detail to make it feel real.  Basically it's like "Best Song Ever" by One Direction, only not made by One Direction, so bonus.  Like I said, this was a tough decision, and all of the songs in this top-ten deserve mounds of credit, but only because I have to pick just one to rise above them all, I pick "Shut Up and Dance" as the best song of 2015.  Don't like it?  Shut up.   ...And dance!

And finally, the winner of the award for Best Animated Movie is When Marnie Was There by Studio Ghibli.  I know that doesn't have anything to do with music; I just wanted to pre-empt the Academy before they blindly give it to Inside Out or some [noun].

This is IchigoRyu.

You are the resistance.