Music March: Mic Drop

Now that I've got my reviewing stride back, I've got ideas for a bunch of song reviews, so I'm going to start another Music March event.  To open it up, in honour of the recent Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, I feel like doing another K-pop song.  But which one...?  Ever since I stopped playing the Pump It Up! games, my knowledge of the Korean music scene isn't what it used to be (and it wasn't very much to begin with).  I suppose there's always Psy, but he seems like too easy a target.  ...Wait.  There is another.  There's this boy band called BTS, and they did a remix of one of their songs not too long ago, that featured Steve Aoki and Desiigner...  Wait a tic, let me check it out.

(Listens to song)

Oh ho ho, I think we've got a review on our hands, ladies and gentlemen!

"Mic Drop"

• Artist: BTS feat. Steve Aoki and Desiigner
• Album: Non-album single (Original version from Love Yourself: Her)
• Release: 18 September 2017
• Genre: Hip-hop/Rap
• Label: Big Hit (Sony)
• Writers: Pdogg, Supreme Boi, "hitman" bang, J-Hope, RM, Desiigner (remix)
• Producers: Pdogg, Steve Aoki (remix)

Before we continue, allow me to introduce our cast of characters.  BTS was formed in Seoul in 2013, and the name is an acronym of the Korean phrase "Bangtan Sonyeondan", or "Bulletproof boy scouts".  Then again, it has also been backronymed in English as "Beyond The Scene", so take that for what you will.  They have seven members, currently aged 20 to 25, and their names are Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Rap Monster, Jimin, V, and Jungkook, but I couldn't tell you which is which.  They have recorded in Korean, Japanese, and the random English phrases that are peppered throughout all Asian music these days.  The original version of this very single was also done in Korean and Japanese versions, in addition to the remixed, mostly-English version we have on our hands now.

Which brings us to our guest-stars.  Steve Aoki is a Japanese-American DJ of the deadmau5/Skrillex mold, and Desiigner is a Brooklyn-based rapper of the Future mold.  You may remember the latter from his inexplicable number-one single "Panda", but then again maybe not.  After all, what separates him from the other forty-six thousand eight-hundred fifty-three mumblecore rappers these days?  Also, what's up with the double "i" in his name?  ...Other than "because poor literacy is KEWL".

Now, this is where things get confusing.  See. there's the original version of the song, and then there's the remix, where some of the lyrics were replaced with English lines and Steve Aoki changed up the music a bit.  But there were two separate versions of the remix itself: the single replaces the first verse with a guest verse by Desiigner, but the one used in the music video (reposted above) still keeps the original verse, but still uses the Steve Aoki music.  And then there's a Japanese version of the original and oh no I've gone cross-eyed.  Well, let's try to make sense of it all, and review the lyrics from the video version, for the benefit of all of you playing along at home.

NB: Lyrics in italics have been translated from Korean.  Said translations were taken from the captions of the official music video (reposted above), and may vary with other sources.

Yeah, someone says my spoon's filthy (I come from a [adjective] background)
I don’t care, when I grab the mic, I beat them who got golden spoons

The first verse is kicked off by, let's see... J-Hope, who immediately hits us with an unusual metaphor.  Or maybe not; in English, at least, we use the phrase "the silver spoon" as a metaphor for luxury, so "golden spoon" would be close enough.  And J-Hope twists that around by saying that even though he does not come from luxury, his talents as a rapper are greater than those who do.  So, yeah, eat that, Puff Daddy.  Also, what's up with that additional line in parentheses?  I didn't hear anything in the song where that extra line would fit, so either that was just a translation note added for the captions, or the song itself really does have a [adjective] background.  ...Background vocals, that is.

I lash out
There are many rare steaks not cooked properly
I’ll be chewing over and over at the stars' dinner

Steaks...?  Yeah, it makes sense, it's just... silly.  Well, I'll give BTS this: they have no problem finding new metaphors to express their dominance over the haters.  Doesn't mean it's any less awkward, but it's more creative than anything I've heard before.

With this good scent, stinking is a foul
Mic, mic bungee

Also, "mic bungee".  J-Hope is so attached to the act of mic-dropping that, apparently, he put a bungee cord on his microphone so he can do it again at a moment's notice.  But what he failed to take into account is that this completely misses the point of the mic-drop.  You're supposed to just drop it and walk away, so the act serves as an emphatic punctuation on whatever it is you said.  But if you just pull the mic back into your hand, you clearly have something else to say, and the act thus loses its impact.  That is, assuming that's what he actually said and that wasn't just some Korean word that sounds like bungee.  But it's in the captions, so it must be true!  Meanwhile, Suga takes over:

Mic, mic bungee
Bright light, forward
You thought I was going down, but
I’m fine, sorry
My bad, Billboard
My bad, worldwide

Or, should I say, #SorryNotSorry.  I'm guessing he's fake-apologising for doing the mic-bungee thing too.

I’m sorry mom, your son is so killing it
Should I chip in for the duties you missed as a good child?

Okay, now you really mean #SorryNotSorry.  Wait, if you're able to remunerate your own mother, then what was that about not coming from luxury?  Are you and J-Hope on the same page right now, or what?

If you're so jealous and it hurts, then file a lawsuit, sue it

Well, since you opened yourself up to the prospect, I'd be wary of Desiigner.  You took his verse out of the video, so if anyone's going to sue you over your success, it's him.  But speaking of, the remix gets back on track with the main version starting with the first bridge, sung by Jungkook, V, Jimin, Jin.  I don't know why I just listed their names, since as we previously established, I cannot yet tell them apart.  But anyway, let's have at it:

Did you see my bag?
Did you see my bag?
It's hella trophies and it's hella thick

(laughs profusely)  There's just something about this line that cracks me up so hard!  I don't know, maybe it's the heavy slang, or the sudden transition from Korean to English, or just the thought of taking these lines literally, like they've actually lost some luggage with all their awards in it.  Of course, K-pop artists are no strangers to random English lyrics.  Why, BTS themselves gave us this gem from one of their previous singles, "Blood, Sweat, and Tears":

Peaches and cream
Sweeter than sweet
Chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings

And don't get the wrong idea: this isn't me doing some wonky translation from Korean.  No, this was originally sung in English.  While the original version of "Mic Drop" had some of these lines in Korean instead, BTS had re-written them in English themselves for the remix.  OMG, I want SO much for this line to become a meme!

What you think 'bout that?
What you think 'bout that?

I just told you what I think.  Namely, that the previous lines were some of the most gleefully ridiculous lyrics I've ever heard.

I bet it got my haters hella sick

One thing's for sure, the haters will be sick with laughter!  ...Okay, I'm cool now.  Let's just move on to the chorus, with... (let me see...) Jungkook, J-Hope, and Rap Monster:

Another trophy, my hands carry 'em
Too many that I can't even count 'em

Wait a tic, I thought you were using a bag to carry all your trophies!  Unless you got so many that it started overflowing and you had to carry the rest manually.  Given that you said you had too many to count, this is a distinct possibility.

Mic drop, mic drop
Foot, foot, watch it, your mouth, mouth, watch it

I don't get the structure of that sentence, unless it's telling the haters to put their foot in their mouth, a metaphorical statement used whenever someone says something stupid.  Which, given the context of the song, could have worked.  Mind you, this last line is in Korean, hence the italics I put on it, so maybe it is grammatically correct for all I know.

Baby watch your mouth
We come back around

The second verse, which my lyrics sheet tells me was sung by J-Hope, Suga, and Rap Monster, appears to confirm my previous analysis.

Once upon a time
We learned how to fly
[...]
How many hours do we fly?
I keep on dreamin' on the cloud
Yeah, I'm on the mountain, yeah, I'm on the bay

Then it's followed up by this odd line where they brag about being able to fly.  And surprisingly, they expand on that idea later in the verse, as if taking their boast literally.

Everyday we vibin', mic drop, bam

...Okay, if you can physically fly as you have so claimed, then that mic drop was actually well-deserved.  You've earned yourself an outro!

Don't need too see you anymore, this is the last farewell
Don't got no words to tell, don't even apologise
Don't need too see you anymore, this is the last farewell
Don't got no words to tell, don't even apologise

Yeah, this is our last good-bye to you, haters!  ...At least the second time we sing that line.  And we have no other words to mince with you!  ...Other than these next four lines.

See, you end up just like that
Just so fizzy, we're like cola
Your cornea gets shocked when it sees us
Quite, quite stylish, s-s-stylish yeah

Your metaphors aren't quite what I'd call stylish, but what do I know.

---

Now that I've finally run out of lyrics (for now...) let's take a break and talk about the music.  The original has a down-and-dirty hip-hop vibe.  It does the job, but BTS aren't quite the most hardcore of gangstas, so I for one can't take it a hundred percent seriously.  If you want to hear what that version sounds like, I've reposted a fan-made animated video which uses it.

The remix, meanwhile, takes bassline from the original and evolves it into a pseudo-dubstep arrangement.  Unfortunately, once you hear the high-pitched riff, you'll never not hear it.  Still, I appreciate the fact that this remix actually re-mixes the music, instead of the increasingly popular approach of just using the same song but with an extra rap verse.  Seriously, I love Bruno Mars's "Finesse" as much as the next guy, but just slapping on that Cardi B verse and calling that a "remix" is kind of a cheat.

---

As mentioned before, the single version of the remix features Desiigner in lieu of the first verse, so as a bonus, let's look at what he has to say.  The song starts with Desiigner doing a few ad-libs before entering his verse proper:

Playing that basketball, uh, we playing that a lot, huh
I'ma just get to the chicken, whip it, then I flip it, then trap it all, huh

Basketball... and chicken.  Way to play off black stereotypes right off the bat, Desiigner.  Actually no, "chicken" in this context is slang for a kilogram of cocaine, so that means he's throwing drugs-dealing into the mix.  Yay, more ghetto stereotyping! (thumbs-up into face-palm)

I gotta get to the dolla, all them haters, back 'em off (back!)
Smoking on gas a lot (gas!), ready to wack 'em all
[...]
This what I did to the haters, the choppa hit 'em, tell 'em back 'em off, huh

I'll give him this though: since the rest of this song has an overarching theme of one-upping the haters that apparently exist in BTS's collective lives, this at least fits that theme, which is more than I can say for most guest verses these days.  Mind you, I doubt BTS's methods of serving the haters involves murdering them, as is apparently the case for Desiigner, but their name does mean "bulletproof boys", so what do I know?

She like Apple Jack, huh, I like apple sauce, huh, huh

Oh ho ho, I think Desiigner just outed himself as a brony!  Or maybe he's dating a pega-sis.  ...Actually no.  "Apple Jack" in this context is a type of liquor distilled from apples.  Still, knowing this fact makes the pony character Applejack a teensy bit funnier, so either way, I'mma call this a win and move on.  There's really nothing else for me to point out in this verse, until the last line:

I'ma just get to the kitchen, and trap hard, with all my

...And that's it.  Desiigner's verse just cuts off there as the song goes straight into the pre-chorus bridge.  You know, the "Did you see my bag?" bit.  Granted, I appreciate any excuse for him not to drop the N-word, as I assume this line was going to lead to, but if not, at least let the man finish his thoughts!

As for my thoughts, this was a fun little song.  It's not the greatest thing ever to happen to music; the beat has its annoyances in both versions, and the lyrics aren't that deep either (which, in retrospect, I admit was also the case with "Gangnam Style").  But it's not bad either, and was in fact good for a laugh.  I may even seek out more from BTS in the future.  And who knows, maybe I'll branch out further into other K-pop from there!  Thank you, BTS, for teaching me how to love again.

Lyrics: 3 mics out of 5
Music: 2 mics out of 5
Performance: 4 mics out of 5
The Call: 3 mics out of 5 (C)

Music May: Ultimate Victory

Ultimate Victory

• Artist: Chamillionaire
• Label: Universal / Chamilitary
• Genre: Hip-hop/Rap
• Producers: various
• Release: 18 September 2007
• Formats: CD, Digital

I guess we can call this a blast from the past: "They see me rollin', they hatin'".  This immortal line comes to us from "Ridin'", a 2005 single from Houston-based rapper Chamillionaire.  Despite its use in commercials and movie trailers, etc., to depict flashy rides and somesuch, the song itself hides a message of real worth for those of you willing to listen to the whole thing. Something along the lines of, "You want to arrest me because of racial profiling, but you can't because I'm not breaking the law".  This guy is deep, either by the (admittedly shallow) standards of his genre or otherwise.  Still, while "Ridin'" went to number 1 on Billboard, he never got anything else above the top 20 during his whole career.  But somehow, I still found out about his sophomore album, 2007's Ultimate Victory, and it got me psyched up to a degree.

The first thing I'd like to bring up is that the entire album lacks even one instance of strong language.  Legend has it that Chamillionaire, success of "Ridin'" notwithstanding, was dismayed to hear that fans were singing along to the song, and the instances of the N-word therein. [citation needed]  As someone who's been wary and even disgusted about the trend towards permissiveness of profanity in popular culture (seriously, look within any one medium and you'll see the trend), this deserves a major tip of the hat.  And this is a long album, too; for him to keep up that self-censorship for seventy-nine minutes (not including the iTunes or Best Buy bonus tracks!) is even more amazing.  This being the case, I'll eschew detailed analyses on all but handful of songs.

One of the album's standout tracks is the opener "The Morning News", which frankly isn't saying much since we just started.  This being a song that derives its lines from the headlines, naturally some of the content has become dated, such as referencing the feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell.  But it's worth it to hear Chamillionaire challenge the ambiguously racist talking heads in the vein of Bill O'Reilly ("Get on the TV and get at me / I'mma get on the CD and get at you") or the lyrically deficient "snap music" which clogged the top 40's arteries over the past couple of years.  Later on, "The Evening News" retreads much of the same territory with even more dated references, to Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama (whom Chamillionaire assumed would never become President.  Guess who I'm talking about.)

The next track, "Hip-Hop Police", is the album's biggest hit, if you can call peaking below #100 a "hit", and why not?  This song plays out as a dialogue between a cop and a convict, both played by Chamillionaire, and guest Slick Rick later doing the same.  The second verse is notable for its clever references to famous rap albums and personalities.  In a similar vein is track #5, "Industry Groupie".  First, the bad news.  This track was produced by J.R. Rotem, who is guilty of some of the most inappropriate sampling since the heyday of Puff Daddy.  Seriously, I will still never forgive him for Jason Derulo's "Whatcha Say", although to be fair the singer shares the blame too.  Also his audio watermarks are the most annoying thing to come out of South Africa apart from vuvuzelas.  But I will forgive him this time for three reasons: One, this time around, he sampled Europe's "The Final Countdown".  Awesome.  Two, Chamillionaire backs it up with the lyrics, not only with clever references, but an actual concept.  What if the girls different rappers are bragging about in their songs are in fact the same person, who is trying to go steady with Chamillionaire in defiance of her past exploits?  And three, guess what other song JR produced for this album?  "Hip Hop Police", with nary a sample or audio watermark to be heard. I think we're making progress.

One thing that surprises me about this album's length is that unlike its contemporaries, the tracklist isn't padded out with too many "skits" or non-song tracks.  You've got one which is three minutes long, and thus easy to mistake as an actual song.  Then again, it's three minutes of some old friend of Chamillionaire's complaining to the man about not lending him money despite his titular millions, and sweating the lesser man to pay up on his loans.  It's hard for the listener to put up with, but I will give it credit for making me think about the responsibilities the 1% must own up to.  Plus, the content foreshadows the next three tracks, "The Bill Collecta", "Ultimate Vacation", and "Come Back to the Streets".  Frustratingly, the skit makes an encore at the tail end of the last of those three.  The other skit, "Stuck in the Ghetto", is actually a one-and-a-half minute song about the tough life of the underemployed, and surprisingly I actually wish it had been drawn out a little more.

Collectively, the worst aspects of this album are the guest verses.  With the exception of Slick Rick in "Hip-Hop Police", Chamillionaire raps circles around all his guests, in terms of both quality and quantity.  Sometimes they manage to undercut the intention of the song.  For starters, many of them managed to sneak in a (censored) swear here and there.  Did they even get the memo?  But the worst example of such is in "You Must Be Crazy": In his guest verse, Famous manages to get away with the simply awful line "Up and coming like dicks, no homo".  Okay, first: how'd you sneak that one past the censors (read: Chamillionaire)!?  Second, by saying "no homo" and distancing the rest of your comment from homosexual connotations, he is perpetuating an association of homosexuality as a bad thing.  Having interpreted this as such, I am morally opposed to the use of the phrase "no homo".  (Unless TeamFourStar does it. ^_^)

Track Listing:
1) "The Morning News" (Producer: Kane Beatz): 5 out of 5
2) "Hip Hop Police" feat. Slick Rick (Producer: J.R. Rotem): 5 out of 5
3) "Standing Ovation" (Producer: Kane Beatz): 3 out of 5
4) "Won't Let You Down" feat. K.C. (Producer: Kane Beatz): 2 out of 5

5) "Industry Groupie" (Producer: J.R. Rotem): 5 out of 5
6) "Pimp Mode" feat. Bun B (Producer: Happy Perez): 2 out of 5

7) "Rock Star" feat. Lil' Wayne (Producer: The Beat Bullies): 1 out of 5

8) "Skit": 2 out of 5
9) "The Bill Collecta" feat. Krayzie Bone (Producer: Play-n-Skillz): 3 out of 5

10) "The Ultimate Vacation" (Producer: The Beat Bullies): 4 out of 5

11) "Come Back to the Streets" (Producer: The Runners): 2 out of 5
12) "I Think I Love You" (Producer: The Beat Bullies): 4 out of 5
13) "The Evening News" (Producer: Kane Beatz) 4 out of 5
14) "Welcome to the South" feat. Pimp C (Producer: Kane Beatz): 3 out of 5
15) "You Must Be Crazy" feat. Famous (Producer: Jomeezius The Genius): 2 out of 5
16) "We Breakin Up" (Producer: CHOPS): 4 out of 5
17) "Skit: Stuck in the Ghetto" feat. Tony Henry: 4 out of 5
18) "Rocky Road" feat. Devin the Dude (Producer: Happy Perez): 5 out of 5
19) "The Ultimate Victory" (Producer: Happy Perez): 5 out of 5.

Chamillionaire is refreshingly varied in the subject matter he raps about.  Sure you've got your typical bragging songs, but they're balanced out by such topics as current events, the struggle to survive financially, and racial profiling.  Given the album's relatively monstrous length, I'd understand and indeed prefer it if he chose to leave out some of the filler tracks we got on the final product, in doing so taking away the lower end of the spectrum and forcing me to give it a higher rating, you crafty charlatan.  Still, the fact that we have such gems as "Hip Hop Police" and "The Morning News" absolves most of what minor sins Ultimate Victory commits.  And heck, even some of the lesser tracks have some witty lines ("Ultimate Vacation") and/or a pleasing beat ("Pimp Mode"), which only helps Chamillionaire's position of being head and shoulders above the competition.

The Call: 90% (A-)

Music March: I Cry vs. Feel This Moment

Previously on the SDP, I reviewed a song by will.i.am, one of our best and brightest rap stars, I said in sarcasm mode. Now I'm taking on two more at once.

"I Cry"

• Artist: Flo Rida
• Album: Wild Ones
• Release: 18 September 2012
• Label: Atlantic, Poe Boy (Warner)
• Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap, Dance
• Writers: Scott Cutler, Jeff Hull, Brenda Russell ("Piano In The Dark"); Bingo Players ("Cry (Just A Little)"); Flo Rida, The Futuristics, soFly & Nius
• Producers: The Futuristics, soFLY & Nius

"Feel This Moment"

• Artist: Pitbull featuring Christina Aguilera
• Album: Global Warming
• Release: 4 February 2013
• Label: RCA, Mr. 305, Polo Grounds (Sony)
• Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap, Dance
• Writers: a-ha ("Take On Me"); Christina Aguilera, Nasri Atweh, DJ Buddha, Adam Messinger, Pitbull, Sir Nolan
• Producers: Nasri Atweh, DJ Buddha, Adam Messinger, Sir Nolan

The Chorus:

For its chorus, "I Cry" uses a sample from "Piano In The Dark", a 1988 R&B hit by Brenda Russell, and one of my favourite songs from the '80s (although I have a lot of favourite songs from the '80s ^_^). Actually, the version used here is from "Cry (Just A Little)", a 2011 EDM song by Bingo Players in which the only words were taken from the chorus. Don't you just hate when that happens? I've heard "One Night in Bangkok" and "Party All The Time" butchered in a similar fashion. Anyway, back to "I Cry". The sample has been sped pitched up from the original, overlaid with a dance beat and, for "I Cry", Flo Rida singing along with the words off and on.

All in all, it's a lazy execution, so let's see what "Feel This Moment" brings to the table. The chorus was actually written for this song, and sung by Christina Aguilera. The melody is a rather simple one, only two measures long with one a down-shifted copy of the other, so no matter how much X-tina sings the heck out of it, it gets old fast. And besides, the lyrics don't give me much to work with:

One day when the light is glowing
I'll be in my castle golden
But until the gates are open
I just wanna feel this moment

...Not sure what to make of that. True, It's obvious that this is a song about indulging in the current festivities to the fullest. But I don't know about you, but I'd equate "light is glowing" and "in my castle golden" as good things. So why would she want to delay those experiences? Maybe there are some formalities she's trying to stave off...? But then the bridge starts up: a remake (not a sample) of the famous synth riff from a-ha's "Take On Me", and it is just glorious. The sharp, simple melody is laid over a driving beat and its power just flows through you. It's like something out of Dance Dance Revolution -- you know, from before they started licencing Train and Justin Bieber. (I'll get to that later.) In fact, I kinda wish that could be the whole song. Better yet, they should've just done a straight cover of "Take On Me" in that fashion.

The winner: "Feel This Moment"

The Verses:

The first verse of "I Cry" opens up with Flo Rida declaring:

I know you wanna get behind the wheel
But only one rider

A line he copied from his last hit, "Whistle", which in turn was taken from the name of his last album, Only One Flo. I see his laziness wasn't limited to the chorus. And yet...

No fear, I've got fans in Okinawa
My heart's in Japan, quake losers and survivors
Norway, know you didn't get my flowers
No way to say it better, but the killer was a coward
[...]
Heard about the news, whole day went sour

I would question the point of bringing up these sad events I would also question the timeliness of these references; both events occurred at least a year before the Wild Ones album came out (3 July 2012), but who knows how long this song was in the oven... So, is there any other reason you cry? It certainly can't be all the champagne and Bugattis you own. Give me your best shot.

Thirty years, you'd have thought these emotions vanish
Try to live, try to figure how my sister vanish

Wait a minute, so your sister disappeared under mysterious circumstances? Very interesting; I would like to hear more. Oh wait, we don't, because that's the end of the verses. Just the middle eight and that's it in terms of new words. So let's move on to the other song. The first verse of "Feel This Moment" opens up with Pitbull declaring:

Reporting live
From the tallest building in Tokyo

I take it this is Pit's attempt at being topically relevant. More than likely he's referring to the Tokyo Skytree, a tower which opened in May 2012. Coincidentally, this is also the only line I could remember at first, the "Something Something Leonard Bernstein" line, if you will. Of course, it's not like there's any true introspection going on -- this is Pitbull we're talking about peoples. I mean, at least "I Cry" is trying to be deep. Pitbull seems perfectly content to adhere to the status quo -- and it's a status quo I've been tired of for years. Add to that his perpetually annoying verbal tic of laughing at his own jokes -- sometimes not even after any punchlines at all. Of course, you've already heard me whine about that. For example, he does it at these lines:

She read books
Especially about red rooms and tie-ups
I got it hooked
'Cause she seen me in a suit with the red tie tied up

We get it, you're rich and you like to have sex. And you're a businessman.

I'm far from cheap
I break down companies with all my peeps
[...]
Time is money
Only difference is I own it

Dude, we just came off a recession, now's not the time to flaunt your status in the 1%. Seriously, are ya gonna bring up anything in your life that was less than perfect? Actually... yes. In the second verse, he gives us:

I've lost a lot, and learned a lot
But I'm still undefeated like Zula [???]

I would interpret that as a reference to his former label TVT Records going out of business, but that doesn't quite work out, because it's not like Pitbull himself founded that label. So... no. You're gonna have to try harder to get some empathy out of us. Which he doesn't do. Shouldn't have been surprised. You win this round, Flo Rida, but pretty much by default.

The winner: "I Cry"

"I Cry":
Lyrics: 3 '80s samples out of 5
Music: 3 '80s samples out of 5
Performance: 2 '80s samples out of 5
The Call: 3 '80s samples out of 5 (C)

"Feel This Moment":
Lyrics: 1 '80s samples out of 5
Music: 4 '80s samples out of 5
Performance: 2 '80s samples of 5
The Call: 2 '80s samples out of 5 (D)

Well, that wraps it up for Music March, and I'm sorry I only managed three articles. Between this and my videos (I only managed one SDP episode in March, not counting the 007 reviews), I didn't have much time to devote my attention to one thing in particular. Plus, I was away on vacation this past week, where I managed to get less work done (read: none) than I expected. So, I think I'll come back to this concept with a Music May, for the only other month which starts with the letter "M". Until then, this is IchigoRyu.

You are the resistance.

Music March: Scream & Shout

Previously on the SDP, I reviewed two songs at once, including "Thrift Shop", which spent four weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Here is one of the songs it managed to fend off.

"Scream & Shout"

• Artist: will.i.am & Britney Spears
• Album: #willpower
• Release: 20, November 2012
• Label: Interscope (Universal)
• Genre: Dance, Hip-Hop/Rap
• Writers: William "will.i.am" Adams, Jean Baptiste, Jef "Lazy Jay" Martens
• Producers: will.i.am, Lazy Jay

If I've learned anything about the Black Eyed Peas, it's that will.i.am is something of a glory hog, especially on their last couple of albums. Sure, Fergie gets a pass, being a hot girl who was not part of their original lineup, but on any given song after the Elephunk album, the remaining members apl.de.ap and Taboo can't seem to get the combined mic time of either other member. The same goes for will.i.am's solo single "Scream & Shout". It's true he got Britney Spears as a guest singer, but she is severely under-used, being given only the bridges and a few sing-alongs with will in the chorus. Here is how the former starts:

When you hear this in the club
You're gonna turn this [noun] up
You're gonna turn this [noun] up
You're gonna turn this [noun] up

We're off to a bad start. Britney Spears is repeating meaningless lines -- with a bad word in them, no less. And what's with that baritone and British accent she's put on? Are you sure this is even Britney?

I wanna scream and shout
And let it all out

The chorus is equally lazy, relying on repeating lines like this. And it ends with:

You are now, now rockin' with
will.i.am and Britney, [noun]

Heh, font humour. The reason I wrote those last words in Times New Roman is because that sound bite was taken from Britney's 2007 "comeback" single "Gimme More". Man, will.i.am's doing everything in his power to keep his guest out of the spotlight! For shame.

So then the first verse kicks in and, I'll tell you what, it's not even worth analysing. It's just a bunch of different ways in which will.i.am is egging us on to have a good time. So let's move on to the second verse... there is none. After the next chorus, we instead jump to what is known in musical jargon as the "Middle 8". Wait...

It goes on and on and on and on
When me and you party together
I wish this night would last forever
'Cause I was feeling down, and now I'm better

We're at the Middle 8 already? Maybe if they didn't rely so much on repetition, they would've had the space to write a second verse! Whatever, I appreciate how this section provides some degree of emotional connection. (See also: Usher's "DJ Got Us Falling In Love") In overly simple terms, yes; will.i.am was feeling badly before attending the party du jour, but spending some time there has brought his spirits back up. ...To be fair, I didn't manage to say with rhyme and meter. Seriously, I think this might be the best part of the song! We've still got four more lines in this section, so how will they manage to expound on that?

It goes on and on and on and on
When me and you party together
I wish this night would last forever...
Ever... ever... ever...

And they wasted the opportunity by repeating the whole thing. Shouldn't have been surprised. In fact, I don't even know why I wasted my time reviewing this party tripe. Musically, "Scream & Shout" does some interesting things, with the bassline in some parts evoking the Prince-produced funk of the early '80s. But other parts counteract that with some unacceptably tinny synth-work. And yes, there is a "dirty bit" in this song, too. This song may have become a guilty pleasure of mine, but all things considered, it's lazily executed and gives the world nothing of value.

Lyrics: 1 "dirty bit" out of 5
Music: 2 "dirty bits" out of 5
Performance: 1 "dirty bit" out of 5
The Call: 1 "dirty bit" out of 5 (F)

Music March: Thrift Shop vs. No Swag

So I was planning the next few reviews for this blog, when I realised I had a lot of music-related stuff planned in my head. So the way I see it, why not make a month-long special about it? This was the conception of "Music March", made even better by the happenstance of the name of the month lending itself to an alliteration. Now, please bear in mind that I will be away on vacation for the last week of the month, so

Question: what is swag? Urbandictionary.com (NSFW) defines it as, "the most used word in the whole [adjective] universe". ...Huh. Actually, the site gives multiple definitions, including: "Orginally from the Scottish slang word "swagger" which was a description of the way some Scots walk (in a swaying motion), the word was then misinterpreted by the English as "the way someone presents themselves". Eg, whether someone looks cool." Either way, the definition of swag may soon become meaningless, as there is a certain song which just came off of a four-week run at #1 on charts worldwide. Did I mention it was also the first self-published #1 single since Lisa Loeb in 1994? No. Obviously I am talking about "Thrift Shop" by Ben "Macklemore" Haggerty.  Oh, and Ryan Lewis.

"Thrift Shop"

• Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz
• Album: The Heist
• Genre: Hip-Hop/Rap
• Release 8 October 2012
• Label: Macklemore LLC
• Writer: Ben "Macklemore" Haggerty
• Producer: Ryan Lewis

But this song reminded me of another I heard about a year ago, which also hailed the lack of traditional charisma. It is the aptly named "No Swag" by a pop-punk outfit called UGHmerica. Its three members have written songs for Ke$ha, Akon, Pitbull, and Bridgit Mendler (a.k.a. Arietty). But "No Swag" made far, far less of an impact than "Thrift Shop" did despite the head-start; I can't find any mention of either the song nor the band on Wikipedia.

"No Swag"

• Artist: UGHmerica
• Album: non-album single
• Genre: Pop
• Release 25 October 2011
• Label: Mass Appeal Entertainment
• Writers: Jacob Kasher, Phil Shaouy, Clinton Sparks
• Producers: Phil Shaouy, Clinton Sparks

Since we have two songs which are so similar in subject matter (Added Alliterative Appeal strikes again! ^_^), I thought I'd try a new format. Rather than analyse each song's lyrics line-by-line like I usually do, I'm going to compare how certain devices are executed by each song. For example:

The Music

Right off the bat, this is one of the sticking points preventing me from enjoying "Thrift Shop" to the fullest. The backtrack relies heavily on a squeaky saxophone riff which is only one measure long but repeats for over half of the song. So by default, I'll have to give the edge to the band who plays their own music.

The winner: "No Swag"

The Chorus

"No Swag" utilises a one-line chorus, which essentially repeats the following: "I've got no swag, swag, swag swag". Dude, I know you're not trying to associate yourself with swag, but if you say the word so often, people are gonna make that connection anyway. So that leaves us with "Thrift Shop"'s chorus, delivered by Michael "Wanz" Wansley in a baritone that helps him fill in the void left by the dearly departed Nate Dogg. Kicking off with the line "I'm gonna pop some tags", it gives the song both a hook and a clearly-defined point, so that someone somewhere's gonna have it in mind as a theme song for their first visit to the Salvation Army.

The winner: "Thrift Shop"

The Verses

In the verses of "No Swag", the singer talks about some of the things he owns or does, such as driving a beat-up old car and wearing beat-up old shoes. There aren't many lines, but my favourites are found in the first verse:

I think that driving drunk is bad

Now think about this: in our mainstream culture, events where alcohol is served are highly glamourised. So much so, that the side effects such as the possibility of driving home drunk are ignored, and as such, in the back of the mind for people who partake in them, if at all. So exercising common sense, such as being mindful of your state of inebriation, is shrugged off merely for the sake of shrugging off the "Stop Having Fun" Guys, unaware that the fun may come to a dead end. Then again, guest rapper Jacob Kasher admits to smoking marijuana later in the song, so take that with a grain of salt.

And Spongebob is really [adverb] rad

As someone who's this close to becoming a Brony, I like your style.

I like hanging out with Mom and Dad

Okay, I will infer from this line that our man still lives with his parents. And you know what? I'm cool with that, too. You have any idea how expensive it is to find a place to live? Sure, I'd enjoy the power that comes from living independently, but to everyone who'd bash us for taking our time, enjoy your debt, ya morons! >:-) Meanwhile, in the second verse...

I think recycling is cool
And cook-outs with friends out by the pool
Am I not what you consider cool?

Again, this makes me wonder why no one has time for recycling anymore. And it doesn't even take that much time to get a separate trash bin and have a different truck pick it up! Would someone explain to me why recycling has gone into the realm of the nerdy? In the meantime, I'll be expressing disapproval over rhyming "cool" with "cool". Seriously, I could write a dissertation over the lyrics to "No Swag", but I have to leave room for the other song, so I'll skip the rap verse and move on.

Much like Jay-Z and Kanye West's "[nouns] in Paris" from last year, "Thrift Shop" has a playful, sometimes bawdy sense of humour, with a handful of moments that are less than dignified, but still fun for the most part. There's one moment in the song where the people are complimenting some guy for his Gucci clothing, and our protagonist is all "Yo, that's $50 for a T-shirt". Oh, and for the record, that was the first line from the song that stuck in my head. Good thing, too, because without these "jokes", there's not much to remember about these verses. Much of the lyrical space is taken up with Macklemore rattling off the odd fashions he found on the discount racks -- much as other rappers do with luxury items, for example:

Velour jumpsuit and some haute slippers
[Adjective] brown leather jacket that I found digging

Hey wait a minute, that didn't even rhyme! And that's not the only example. Back on point, my other problem with this "Thrift Shop" is that the two verses are simply too long. Let's do some simple addition: sixty seconds for a verse is way too long for me to remember. Plus, the radio edit is *very* censored.

The Winner: "Thrift Shop"

The Message

So now that we've taken some lyrical samples, what is "No Swag" about? The singers are freely admitting that their lifestyles do not fit in to what the mainstream culture considers desirable, but can't seem to decide what to make of it. Clifton in the second verse affirms "I don't care what you think of me", whereas Jacob in the rap break laments "Please don't swag me up / just put me out my [adverb] misery". Furthermore, according to their website theughmerica.com, they've attempted to start a "No Swag" movement, which encourages members to embrace who they are and how they live, to fly in the face of what is accepted by their peers.

"Thrift Shop" espouses many of the same values as the "No Swag" movement, albeit from a more pragmatic perspective. That's pragmatic as in not only buying clothing with as little expense as possible, but pragmatic in that it plays to the traditional rap image, but with different subject matter. If Macklemore's going to make a change in our public consciousness, he might as well do so with some degree of bragging and a catchy hook.

I like what both of these songs bring to the table. They basically present the same lession, but with different approaches. All things considered, I've decided not to give the edge to either song in this section, and indeed I'd recommend you check out both. That is, if you haven't had "Thrift Shop" drilled into your psyche from all its radio play.

The Winner: Tie

The Call

"Thrift Shop": 5 popped tags out of 5 (A)
"No Swag": 4 popped tags out of 5 (B)

P.S. To whomever wrote that first definition of "swag", you lost me at "Secretly We Are Gay". Because there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying.