Music Review: Hey, Soul Sister

The band Train is not what I'd call a household name, but I totally hate their biggest hit, 2001's "Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)".  I don't want to get into why I just can't listen to it anymore, but anything that makes me visualize the Muppets in a poorly animated chorus line can't be good.  The rest of their stuff's been hit-or-miss, so how does their newest single, "Hey, Soul Sister" fall?



The music seems to be ukelele-based.  Doesn't that remind you of some other song?  It should: "I'm Yours" by Jasom Mraz.  Except this one has a little more kick to it, so that's good.  Pat Monahan's vocals in the opening "hey"s are pretty high-pitched; even more so in the chorus when we get to it.  But before we do that, let's dive into the first verse:

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains

Oookaaay, that's freaky enough to give Lil' Wayne pause.  Nothing else too remarkable until we get to the chorus, which kicks off with...

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo

...Alright, some of my readers might not know what this Mr. Mister is, apart from redundant.  Well, it turns out that Mr. Mister is a real band that had a few hit songs around 1985, such as "Kyrie" and "Broken Wings".  That first one, by the way, did the impossible and managed make the Greek phrase meaning "Lord have mercy" work as the basis for a pop song.  Only in the 80s...  Speaking of which, as we come to the second verse...

A game show love connection we can't deny

...Seems like we have an 80s theme for the second verse.  And FYI, for my money Love Connection is *not* a real game show.  It has no business being on GSN, they only put it on their programming because of its host Chuck Woolery.

I believe in you like a virgin you're Madonna

And lo!  An 80s reference the rest of us actually get!

Watching you's the only drug I need

Somebody give Lindsay Lohan a brain transplant with this guy.

You're so gangster I'm so thug

Woah.  You haven't even been *trying* to act black up until now, for the last 11 years of your career either, so don't start now!
Come to think of it, "soul sister" sounds pretty ghetto too.  And combined with the mellow music it's all set to, the lyrics come off as jarring.  But that music is good enough to make up for its shortcomings... for now.  I could probably stand to listen to it a few more times before it suffers the fate of... that other Train song.


The Call: 2 out of 5 (D)

P.S.: The music video, on the other hand, is really cool.  I don't want to spoil the gimmick it uses, but I'll just say that it had to be a beast to clean up.