Film Review: The World Is Not Enough

The World Is Not Enough

• Publisher: MGM
• Studio: Danjaq / EON Productions
• Director: Michael Apted
• Producers: Barbara Broccoli, Michael G. Wilson
• Writers: Neil Purvis, Robert Wade, Bruce Feirstein
• Genre: Action
• Release: 19 November 1999 (USA), 29 November 1999 (UK)

The Girls: Elektra King (Sophie Marceau), daughter of British oil magnate Sir Robert King, whom she has killed. In the backstory, she was kidnapped by Renard, only to escape on her own. She swore revenge after, under MI6's guidance, her father refused to pay the ransom money. Shot by Bond. 5 out of 5. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards), nuclear scientist. She has gained a reputation as one of the worst Bond Girls because, let's be honest, Denise Richards isn't known for playing "smart" roles. The word straight from the horse's mouth is that she took on the role as it was "brainy", "athletic", and "had depth of character, in contrast to Bond Girls from previous decades"1. And you know what, I can't argue with that logic. So to give my honest opinion, and I have no intention of doing otherwise, I don't think she's quite as awful as she's made out to be. Her sassy demeanor reminds me of Tiffany Case at her best, and at least she doesn't experience a nervous breakdown like Stacey Sutton. 2 out of 5.

Other Allies: Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane) returns from Goldeneye, this time with a few serious industries under his belt. Shot by Elektra, but frees Bond from a deathtrap before dying. 5 out of 5. We also have R (John Cleese, Monty Python franchise), an apprentice in Q's lab. If there was ever a place for such a humourist in James Bond's world, then the Q lab is the most appropriate place for it - and what a humourist we have on our hands. 5 out of 5. This scene is also notable for another reason: just after the movie's premiere, Q's actor, Desmond Llewelyn, would die in a car crash. In the movie's universe, Q was set to go on a retirement holiday, perhaps indicating that the character was set to be finished, but still, you can't tell the exact moment and circumstances in which you will die. (Unless a Death Note is involved.) This brings extra poignancy to the last lines Llewelyn says on-screen:

James Bond: You're not planning on retiring anytime soon. Are you?
Q: Now pay attention, 007. I've always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.
James Bond: And the second?
Q: Always have an escape plan.

EPIC. WIN.

The Villain: Renard (Robert Carlisle, 24: Redemption), a freelance terrorist. After Elektra's kidnapping, agent 009 shot Renard in the head, but he lived. As the bullet moves slowly through his brain, it is killing off his senses, including the ability to feel pain, until it does kill him. In practice, this is more of an informed (dis)ability, until you consider the fact that the plutonium rod he handles at the end myst be blazing hot. Funny what a little scientific education (or reading the words of others with such an education) can make you realise. Impaled with said plutonium rod by Bond. 5 out of 5.

Other Henchmen: Bullion (Clifford Joseph "Goldie" Price), Zukovsky's bodyguard. Wears gold jewelry and tooth caps since he doesn't trust banks. Apparently cowardly, but there's a reason for that: he's secretly working for Elektra and Renard. Shot by Zukovsky. 2 out of 5.

The Gadgets: A BMW Z8 with anti-air rockets. It gets cut in half by a buzz-saw helicopter, to which Bond quips, "Q's not gonna like this". It's about time you started realising that, buddy. He also uses a speedboat with jet boosters and torpedoes, a fake gun with a flash-bang grenade, a pair of X-ray glasses, and a grappling hook in his watch. 4 out of 5.

The Locations: Spain, United Kingdom (England, Scotland), Azerbaijan (skiing scenes filmed in France), Kazakhstan (filmed in Spain), and Turkey.

The Theme Song: Performed by Garbage. The lyrics have a theme of greed, with the title phrase followed by "but it is such a perfect place to start", and other lines like "No one ever died from wanting too much". Kinda not a wise thing to espouse in a Bond film; isn't that what happens to every villain in the series? Well, guess what: it's supposedly from the point of view of Elektra. This theory gets driven home in the full version, which contains the line "There's no point in living/if you can't feel alive", her/Renard's catchphrase. 5 out of 5.

The Opening Credits: Features oil motifs, as per Elektra's occupation. Not some of the most appealing colour combinations - think a shallow oil slick on the road, what with all those muted rainbow effects. 3 out of 5.

The Novel: None of the Ian Fleming novels were directly involved in the conception of this film. The title comes from James Bond's family motto, which was revealed in the book and movie of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and is "Orbis non sufficit", or Latin for "The world is not enough".

The Plot: Our story starts out at a Swiss bank in Spain, where 007 is retrieving some money for Sir Robert King, an old college friend of M's. He asks about the 00 agent who was killed over it, but the cigar girl kills him before he can talk. Bond nonetheless escapes with the money and returns it to King at MI6 HQ, but as King handles it, his lapel pin, which had secretly been switched, detonates a bomb hidden in the money. At the scene of the crime is none other than the cigar girl from before, whom Bond follows on a boat chase on the Thames river. The chase ends when whe blows up a gas tank on a hot-air baloon, killing herself. Cue opening credits.

At this point I'd like to call a time-out to discuss what we've just seen, or rather read about. First of all, a Fun Fact: The World Is Not Enough hosts the longest scene before the opening credits, at around 14 minutes. The original plan was to run the credits after the bank scene instead, but the test audiences deemed this to be too dull of an intro. So let's look at what this change has brought upon us: the man whom 007 did a mission for was killed in a sneak attack within MI6's headquarters, everyone responsible for it whom 007 confronted so far killed themselves, leading him with no leads, and to top it all off, he broke his arm falling onto the Millenium Dome. And I, for one, appreciate the tragic tone, which contrasts with the miracle-maker he's made himself out to be in the openings to films like Tomorrow Never Dies.

Moving on. At MI6's backup HQ in Scotland, 007 pieces together the clues, and suggests that Renard, an independent terrorist who had kidnapped Elektra in the past, was involved with the attack. He meets Elektra in Azerbaijan, where her company is building an oil pipeline, and warns that Renard might take revenge on her. They take a ski trip together to survey the pipeline's route, but are beseiged by some of Renard's troops. That night, Bond visits his old friend Valentin Zukovsky, now the owner of a casino in Baku, and asks about Renard. Elektra also pays a visit, losing her father's US$1 million credit in a quick hand.

Meanwhile Davidov, Elektra's chief of security, meets with Renard and takes the place of Mikhail Arkov, a Russian nuclear scientist. 007 abandons Elektra to shadow Davidov, kills him, takes his place in turn, and joins Renard's unit en route to a decommissioned missile silo in Kazakhstan. Upon meeting Renard, the man lets slip some clues which 007 interprets as proof that he and Elektra are still in cahoots. He is unable to stop Renard from stealing the plutonium from a nuclear warhead, but escapes with Christmas Jones, yet another nuclear scientist. They head back to meet M at the King Pipeline's control centre, where he gives her the locator card, which one of Renard's men took from the warhead, along with his suspicions about Elektra.

Then an emergency situation develops - terrorists sent a nuclear bomb through the pipeline. When Bond and Christmas try to defuse it, they discover that half the plutonium was taken out, rendering it impotent. Christmas takes out what's left of the plutonium, but Bond lets the bomb go off, making Elektra think they died. Elektra shows her true colours by telling M that she had her father killed, and then by kidnapping her. Bond's next stop is Zukovsky's caviar factory, where he tries to interrogate him about Elektra's dealings. After surviving a raid from Renard's buzzsaw-equipped helicopters, Zukovsky divulges that her casino losses were payment for a nuclear submarine. Together they head to a Russian safehouse in Istanbul, where they work out the evil plan: when Renard loads the remaining plutonium into the sub's reactor, it will cause a meltdown, preventing the King Pipeline's rivals from shipping oil through the area. Meanwhile, M activates the locator card, and 007 tracks her to Maiden's Tower, in the middle of the bay.

But Bullion, Zukovsky's bodyguard, leaves a bomb at the place and takes Bond and Christmas to meet Elektra. As Bond is tortured with intent to kill, Zukovsky leads a raid on the place. Elektra shoots him, but he frees Bond with a dying shot. Bond goes after the submarine, freeing M and killing Elektra in the process. In the sub, he frees Christmas, seizes the controls, forcing the sub to crash into the sea floor (he meant for it to rise to the surface...), and catches Renard trying to load the plutonium rod into the reactor. They fight, ending when Bond pushes the plutonium rod back into Renard's chest. He and Christmas escape from the sub before it blows up from the hydrogen gas buildup, and hide out in Istanbul together. You are now free to turn off your TV.

...Man, this was a complicated plot, made all the more tougher to understand since so much of it relies on backstory delivered through exposition dumps, rather than events that directly transpire on screen. Where this film shines is in the role of Elektra King. Did Renard's influence during her kidnapping turn her evil? Or did she turn him, using him as a tool to gain a monopoly on her market and take revenge on her father for not bailing her out? This debate has been going back and forth within the fandom, and my decision on it is...? It's your call. Have fun! 3 out of 5.

The Call: 65% (C)

IchigoRyu will return in
Die Another Day

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[1] Thomas, Rebecca (19 November 1999). "One girl is not enough". BBC News. Retrieved 24 September 2012.

Game Review: James Bond 007 (Game Boy)

James Bond 007

• Publisher: Nintendo
• Developer: Saffire
• Release: Game Boy, Februrary 1998
• Genre: Action
• Players: 1
• Save: Battery, 3 files
• Rarity/Cost: Common, US$5-10

There have been so many James Bond-licenced video games over the years, dating back to the Atari 2600, that if I tried to cover them all I'd never finish the 007 Golden Jubilee within the year like I promised. So, I will stick to ones that have an original story, not adapted from a book or movie, and ones that I have a personal history with. Like this one: the Game Boy release simply titled James Bond 007.

James Bond 007's engine is based off of the early Legend of Zelda games, in particular Link's Awakening, despite being handled by the then-fledgling developer Saffire. What this means is that the maps are presented in an overhead perspective, and divided into individual screens. Weapons and items can be assigned to the A and B buttons at will. But unlike the Zelda games, wherein the dungeon levels are strewn about an overworld you can pretty much explore at will, this game is more traditionally structured as a series of series of separate levels. Your quest, so to speak, takes you to China, Kurdistan (a region in Turkey), Morocco, Tibet, Russia, and more. And since Link's bow, bombs, and boomerang wouldn't fit well with 007's image, we get new weapons and items, including a pistol, machine gun, hand grenades, and a rocket launcher (which for all intents and purposes, behaves more like a shotgun, with no splash damage to worry about). But most of the time, I prefer to save ammo and stick with a machete. You can also find an assortment of gadgets and other tools, including night-vision goggles, a grappling hook, and a satellite map, as well as body-armour vests. The catch with these is that you have to have them set to one of your two active item slots in order to work, so you'll have to go back to the equipment menu (Select) every time you want to change your weapon, instead of loading both slots with weapons. Just a minor inconvenience, really.

Not only weapons, but tools like night-vision goggles come into play.

James Bond 007 also makes a big deal about trading random items; whereas these were the territory of side-quests in the Legend of Zelda games (Biggoron Sword, anyone?), in this game they are mandatory in order to advance. The best/worst example lies in the Black Market section of Marrakesh, where you must handle five items, starting with a chicken and ending with a pair of night-vision goggles. You have to look through a mess of merchants' tents in order to find the next person to trade with, and many of these tents are empty. Not that the action sequences are perfect, either. Much like its bigger brother, Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64, the enemies' AI is... limited. Although characters can move in any direction, they can only face directly up, down, left, or right, so use their "blind spots" to your advantage. And pathfinding? Forget about it: even if a particular enemy has the ability to follow you, they will only move towards you in a straight line, unable to move around objects. If you've got grenades, you can have some fun with this quirk, especially in the Russia level.

One thing I've noticed when doing all the film reviews for the James Bond series is that the movies feature much deeper plots than the video games, and initially, James Bond 007 is no exception. Personally, I'd point out the fact that are more and better writers for the silver screen than for the digital realm. Although this discrepancy has been narrowing in recent years, this was certainly not the case for the Game Boy, circa 1998. All you need to know about the plot is that there's an arms-dealing cartel led by Zhong Mae, the Chinese Bond Girl, and Odd Job, apparently resurrected after Goldfinger (Canon?  What canon?), and they don't even dwell on that a lot. However, things do kick into high gear near the endgame, where the villain, the Russian general Golgov (not to be confused with Gogol from the movies) has not only prepared an army to conquer the West with in the midst of their mutual disarmament, but has given arms to multiple warring factions in Kurdistan, so they will thin themselves out and become easier to conquer. All this coming after 007 takes down a disagreeable leader (who did previously capture agent 008), so I can't help but be reminded of the Iraq War in hindsight. Not to mention, the territory of Kurdistan also covers parts of Iraq and Syria. Eeesh. Harsher in Hindsight, much?

A fake door in the first level.

So, let's change the subject. This game has a heavy emphasis on picking up clues from other people, not just to build up the story, but to find out where to go and what to do. For those of us less skilled in the critical thinking department, I'm bringing back the old Sticking Points segment, this time as part of the review in a vain attempt to make the article appear longer. So, what wisdom would I wish to impart upon thee?

• When fighting the unarmed guards in China and the sumo wrestlers in Tibet (it makes sense in context), hold your Block button until they attack. After they hit, return the favour with a punch of your own. This is the only way you can deal damage to them, while they're stunned.
• The temple in the middle of the China level may seem like a dead end, but go to the northern room and examine the wall on the right, across from the woman on the other side. See the picture to right for details.
• At Q's lab in England, examine the chair just above Q twice. It will fly off and crash into the wall, leading to a secret room with an item called the M.A.R.B.L.E. This does nothing except give you an alternate ending.
• In Kurdistan, just before the cave with Iqbal and 008, cut the plant in the northeast corner of the screen, and follow the secret path behind it. The screen to the east hides a man who will give you a jeweled egg. In Marrakesh, you can trade it for an underground pass, allowing you to use a more convenient set of tunnels.
• In Marrakesh, you are required to play casino games to advance the story. Blackjack and red dog poker are available. You'll start off with US$1,000, and you can re-start at this amount any time you lose it all, so don't be afraid to bet big. In fact, I would suggest doing so to save time; you need a total of $2,500 to get into the back room, play baccarat, and eventually get Mr. Fez to join in.
• You'll lose your med kits at the end of the Marrakesh level, and your weapons and armour at the end of the Tibet level, so plan accordingly.
• In the Secret Base, an enemy in the northeastern-most room will drop a shield when defeated. Beware, he has a rocket launcher and takes 3-4 times the normal amount of hits to bring down. The shield can block bullets (but not rockets), and is a major, if not crucial, help for the final level.

The running time for this game is somewhere around a couple of hours, perhaps less if you're good at reading into the clues. It's long for a portable game, but short for a save-enabled game, so take that as you will. I can't find much to complain about or applaud in the visuals department, but the sound design is another story. Certain events cause the music to slow down afterwards, and it's not as if this is a glitch, it feels programmed in; why, I'll never know. And the composer has seen fit to cram cues from Monty Norman's theme into the score wherever possible, how 'bout something more original, pally? Well, much like its music, this game takes parts of something we know and love, in this case The Legend of Zelda, and adapts it in new ways. Whilst it's not terribly exciting until the end, it fits happily into one's expectations for a Game Boy game, circa 1998.

Control: 3 out of 5
Design: 3 out of 5
Graphics: 3 out of 5
Audio: 2 out of 5
Value: 3 out of 5
The Call: 70% (C+)

IchigoRyu will return in
The World Is Not Enough

Dance Dance Retrospective: SuperNOVA

Have you ever noticed the copyright notice screens that played on older arcade DDR editions, which among other things made a warning along the lines of "the public use of this machine outside of Japan is prohibited".  So believe it or not, all those DDR machines up through Extreme were technically brought over here illegally.  Evidently it wasn't a serious offence; as amusement machine distributors imported the games nonetheless, building up the series' popularity worldwide.  And yet technically, there were only two entries officially produced for America, and four for Europe.  But that all changed when the series made its long-awaited return to the arcade scene, with 2006's worldwide release of Dance Dance Revolution SuperNOVA (EU: 28 April 2006, NA: 15 May 2006, JP: 12 July 2006).

As this was the first arcade entry to be released in almost four years, SuperNOVA catches up by not only reviving most of the songs from Extreme, but the numerous home games that were released during that interim period, including the Ultramix series.  Given the huge song library (303 tracks in all, with 121 arcade debuts), a tradition from 1st and 2ndMIX rears its head once again: the songs are divided into Easy, Medium, and Hard setlists of about a hundred songs each.  However, by pressing the Down arrow twice at this screen, you can select all the songs during play, or access the course modes.  The "beginner helper" characters that play the steps on-screen on Beginner charts are gone, but have re-appeared in spirit for the Tutorial mode, selectable from the same menu.  Replacing the traditional lessons from the home versions, Tutorial Mode  While we're on the subject of difficulty, for some reason the main three levels have been renamed to Basic, Difficult, and Expert, presumably to split the difference between the classic (Basic/Another/Maniac) and European (Standard/Difficult/Expert) naming schema.


Players "attack" each other with modifiers in Battle Mode.  (PS2 version.)

SuperNOVA's gameplay engine is largely carried over from Extreme 2, particularly in the home version, which retains the sub-menu accessible at any of the menus by pressing Start.  Unlike that game, however, SuperNOVA brings back the extra stage system, which works largely like it did in Extreme.  Also, the bonus score has been scrapped, so scoring is always out of 10 million points per song.  One of the only "new" additions to this game is the Battle Mode.   An extention of the versus mode, this has two players (or one player versus the computer) automatically "attack" each other with modifiers, hindering the other's ability to read the notes, with the goal of holding the majority of a "tug-of-war" lifebar.  Technically this was resurrected from Dancing Stage feat. Disney's Rave, but in the years since that game, many modifiers have been added to the DDR canon.  Battle mode even uses modifiers that affect one lane of arrows instead of all four, so... have fun.


The new stages and character models.  (Arcade version.)

The in-game graphics engine has been entirely revamped, dispensing with those of previous games, which used random animated backgrounds and (in some games) characters dancing upon an invisible plane.  Instead, we get the characters doing their thing on futuresque 3D stages, each with distinct colour and shape themes.  I have a rather sour opinion on this decision, as the artistry derived from arranging the scripted animations of yore has been replaced with what is essentially one image for the entire song.  The character models and animations have been also updated for the first time since the series began, but my belief is that in doing so, they have taken a turn into the uncanny valley.  Maybe it would help if they changed facial expressions every once in a while, I don't know.  And I'm not afraid to say it: some of the female characters' costumes and motions cross the line into slutty.

Notable songs include:

• "AA" by DJ Amuro, a crossover from 2004's Beatmania IIDX 11: Red.  A more trance-like remix of "A" from Extreme, you may be surprised to know that this song's title has no official pronunciation.
• "Centerfold (130 BPM Move-It Mix)" by Captain Jack.  Their cover of the J. Geils' Band's 1982 hit was the last new song of their used by DDR.  Note that this was the first new DDR title to come out after Captain Jack's frontman's death, so despite their unused back catalogue, could this decision have been out of respect...?  ...Nah, coincidence as far as I'm concerned.
• "My Only Shining Star" by Naoki feat. Becky Lucinda.  The next in the line of Maeda-san's euro-rave songs, this time with a new vocalist.
• "Peace (^^)v" by BeForU.  Since we last met BeForU, they had focused less on the Bemani games and started putting out their own albums.  That the in-game music video for this is concert footage may be evidence for such.
• "Red Zone" by Naoki & Tatsh, a crossover from Beatmania IIDX 11: Red.  Has inspired a number of parody videos on both sides of the Pacific.
• "Tierra Buena" by Wilma de Olivera, a crossover from 2003's Guitar Freaks 9thMIX & DrumMania 8thMIX.  An Andean-folk-style song, this gets my pick for one of the worst songs used for DDR, or at least the most ill-fitting.
• "Xepher" by Tatsh, a crossover from Beatmania IIDX.  This gothic-rave song is classified by some as an unofficial boss song, since it has a level-10 Challenge chart.  And if you ask me, the boss songs should me more like this, relying on technical step patterns alone instead of cheap tempo-related gimmicks (see below).

There are more boss songs to choose from in your extra stages:

• "Healing-D-Vision" by De-Strad.  Bearing only a slight resemblance to the original "Healing Vision", this one has 12th-note patterns and doubles in speed from 180 to 360 BPM near the end.
• "Max 300 (Super Max-Me Mix)" by Jondi & Spesh.  A revival from Ultramix 2, this has more in common with "MaxX Unlimited" than "Max 300", with its multiple BPM changes.
• "Fascination MaxX" by 100-200-400 (Naoki Maeda).  As the artist name suggests, this song change tempo, seemingly irrationally, between 100, 200, and 400 BPM.
• "Fascination (Eternal Love Mix)" by 2MB.  A remix of "Fascination MaxX", sharing its speed changes and pauses.
• "Chaos" by De-Sire (Naoki Maeda).  Features dozens of little pauses which take loads of practice to memorise.  In fact, some of the stops on this and "Fascination MaxX" knock the arrows off-beat, rendering them imposisble to make edit steps for.

The home version for PlayStation 2 was also released in all three regions (NA: 26 September 2006, JP: 25 January 2007, EU: 27 April 2007).  In place of Dance Master Mode from Extreme 2, the home games introduce the Stellar Master Mode. The stages, called "Stellar Joints", each feature a handful of songs that can be played at will, but with a list of goals to accomplish at the player's pace. Once enough have been fulfilled, the player can take on some boss missions and move on to the next Stellar Joint. These missions include special modifiers like in the last two games. My favourites are the one where you have to play the sequence as fast as possible, regardless of rhythm. I'll tell you one thing, this needs to be spun off into its own Time Attack mode pronto.

Apart from the Stellar Master Mode, the home version of SuperNOVA shares the same EyeToy and online functionalities of Extreme 2, or at least it did until the next game came out and the servers were, yet again, shut down.  Only this time, the online mode hosted a small number of exclusive songs which were not even playable offline.  And when the service went down, there was no workaround to get to the songs within SuperNOVA.  But they were put into the sequel, which is what I'll discuss when Dance Dance Retrospective returns next... week? month? two months? with SuperNOVA 2.

Film Review: Tomorrow Never Dies

Tomorrow Never Dies

• Publisher: MGM / United Artists
• Studio: Danjaq / EON Productions
• Director: Roger Spottiswoode
• Producers: Barbara Broccoli, Michael G. Wilson
• Writer: Bruce Fierstein
• Genre: Action
• Release: 12 December 1997 (UK), 19 December 1997 (USA)

The Girls: Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher, from Desperate Housewives), Elliot Carver's wife and a former girlfriend of 007. Like Mr. Zukovsky in the last film, the fact that she and Bond had a thing together is a tad jarring considering we've never met the lady, and thus I can't help but see her more as an object whom he uses to get to Carver. Still, she redeems herself when she tells him about Carver's lab, in the last scene she's in before she gets killed, no less. Shot off-screen by Dr. Kaufman. 3 out of 5.

Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh, from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), colonel in the Chinese People's Liberation Army. In this regard, Wai Lin serves as a female counterpart to 007, which explains why her relationship with Bond is less than romantic. (Oh wait...) And yet, there's a reason why "opposites attract" in the dating world. 4 out of 5.

Other Allies: Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker) makes a cameo. Again: why not Felix Leiter? (Again again: remember Licence to Kill.)

The Villain: Elliot Carver (Johnathan Pryce, from Brazil, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3), president of the Carver Media Group.He sure likes to ham it up; for a rather embarrassing example, when he is face-to-face with a captive Wai Lin and starts mocking her martial arts moves. (Apparently his preferred fighting style is What-The-Fu.) Also, let's get one thing straight: Carver was not intended as a satire of Rupert Murdoch. (Then again, after his recent phone-hacking scandal, anything's fair game for modern interpretation.) Actually no, his original inspiration was a mister Robert Maxwell, who served as a British army captain, Member of Parliament, and head of a media empire. He was prone to suing his detractors, and after his death in 1991, it was revealed that he had misappropriated company funds to prop up share prices, so all in all, not the nicest guy. The "official" obituary that M and Moneypenny write up for Carver mirrors Maxwell's own death (drowning at sea). "Carved" up (I apologise) by a drill torpedo launched by Bond.  3 out of 5.

Other Henchmen: Stamper (Götz Otto), Carver's bodyguard. Basically Red Grant re-imagined for the 90s. Things get personal in the second half, as he was allegedly the protege of the quickly-killed Dr. Kaufman (read on). How do we know? He says he shares his background in chakra torture. We never get to see this in practice, but granted, some of you might not want to. Burned up by a missile, with Bond's help. 4 out of 5.

Henry Gupta (Ricky Jay), computer expert working for Carver. This techno-genius lacks the personality that made the guy from the last film so distinctive.  Which is a shame, because his actor has a lot of his own personality as a stage magician.  They were going to give Gupta a gimmick of throwing sharpened playing cards as a weapon, but this idea was dropped. Shot by Carver. 2 out of 5.

Dr. Kaufman (Vincent Schiavelli), assassin, doctor of forensics, and torture technician.  He is only used on one scene, but with his pedigree, they could've improved the tension by working him into later scenes somehow. Shot by Bond.  4 out of 5.

The Gadgets: A BMW 750 with machine guns, rockets, and anti-tire spikes. It can be driven through a remote control in 007's new cell phone, which also houses a fingerprint scanner and taser. A full-size, remote-controlled car... jumping the shark? Could be, but it does its job with providing an innovative and intense action scene. ...Which jumping the shark tends to result in. This film also marks the first appearance of the Walther P99, a handgun which replaced the PPK as Bond's weapon of choice, until Quantum of Solace returned to the PPK. 3 out of 5.

The Locations: Russia (filmed in France), the United Kingdom (England), Germany, and Vietnam (filmed in Thailand).

The Theme Song: Performed by Sheryl Crow (from "All I Wanna Do", "Every Day Is A Winding Road"). In contrast to the last theme song and its dodgy synth instruments, this one features more traditional orchestration, like a Shirley Bassey song mixed with Crow's adult-contemporary rock production.The score, composed by David Arnold, does likewise and thankfully shrugs off Eric Serra's admittedly awful score from Goldeneye. The ending theme song, "Surrender" by k.d. lang, is also similar in its bombastic style, and was considered as the title song at one point. 4 out of 5.

The Opening Credits: Features telecommunications / technology motifs, as per the villain's occupation, and coloured x-ray guns. 4 out of 5.

The Novel: None of the Ian Fleming novels were directly involved in the conception of this film. The writers' original plan was to base a plot around the handover of Hong Kong from British to Chinese control, which took place on 1 July 1997. However, as the film would not be completed before then, and they didn't want to depict that kind of crisis if the event transpired without incident -- which it did -- they scrapped the idea. Vestiges of the concept still exist in the threat of war between the UK and PRC, and the setting in Vietnam. Also, the Bond novel Zero Minus Ten, written in 1997 by Raymond Benson, does use the Hong Kong handover as a plot point.

The Plot: Our story starts at a terrorist arms bazaar on the Russian border. 007 has set up cameras for MI6 to monitor the place, and once satisfied with the intelligence, the Admiral of the Royal Navy authorises a cruise missile strike on the place. But one of the planes on site is equipped with nuclear torpedoes, so he flies it out of there just before the missile hits. Cue opening credits. We return to the HMS Devonshire, a British ship in the South China Sea. Some Chinese MiGs fly over and warn that the ship is in Chinese territory, but a reading from the GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) system confirms that the ship is in international waters. What they don't know is that a stealth boat owned by Elliot Carver, head of the Carver Media Group, has altered the GPS signal used by the Devonshire, launched a drill torpedo at the ship, sinking it and making it seem like the Chinese attacked them. Back in London, the Admiral prepares to send the Royal Navy fleet to the area for war, but M secretly assigns 007 to investigate Carver.

He meets him and his wife Paris at a party in Carver's headquarters in Hamburg. He gets held up by some henchmen, but breaks out and shuts the power off during a speech. That night, Paris shows up in his hotel room and tells him about a secret lab at the top of the office. He sneaks a visit there the next morning, snatching a GPS encoder box from an office safe, and returns to his hotel room only to find Paris dead and her assassin, Dr. Kaufman, about to kill him in turn. But he turns the tables, killing Kaufman and scaring off the Carver goons who are trying to take back the encoder from his car.

Bond's next stop is a US airbase in the South China Sea where, with Jack Wade's help, learns that the encoder was used to send the Devonshire off-course, making it think it was in international waters when it fact it was within the territory of... Vietnam. He dives down to the ship's wreckage, where he notices one of its nuclear missiles is gone, and runs into Wai Lin, a Chinese agent also investigating Carver, before getting an unwanted extraction from his forces. They are taken to Carver's office in Saigon, but escape to a Chinese safehouse nearby. From there, she searches for the general location of Carver's stealth boat, and sends messages to the British and Chinese governments, warning them of the truth.

Together, Bond and Wai Lin scout the seas for the stealth boat, and find it in Ha Long Bay. They start planting explosives, but Carver's bodyguard Stamper comes around, captures Wai Lin, and disarms the mines. Meanwhile, Carver fills her in on the details of his plan: When the British and Chinese fleets draw near, Carver intends to launch the missile he stole from the Devonshire at Beijing, making it look like the British flagship did the "honours". As war breaks out, his crony General Chang will take control of China, organise a peace treaty, and give Carver exclusive broadcasting rights within the People's Republic. While all this exposition is going on, Bond nabs Henry Gupta, the technician of the evil operation, and holds him hostage in a standoff with Carver... which would be great if Gupta hadn't already pre-programmed the missile, thus nullifying the purpose of Bond's bargaining chip. But he triggers a backup blast which breaches the ship's hull, making it show up on radar. The British fleet subsequently turns its guns on the stealth boat instead of the Chinese planes. Amidst the chaos, 007 kills Carver with the sea drill, plants another explosive charge that destroys the missile on takeoff, and traps Stamper to blow up with it. Then he saves Wai Lin from drowning, and sneaks one last embrace with her whilst hiding from extraction by the British ships. You are now free to turn off your TV.

Assuming you're not a goldfish who can read English, you may have noticed that this is the same general plot used by The Spy Who Loved Me and You Only Live Twice before that. Namely, the villain engineers a series of military mishaps meant to coax two superpowers into war. But if you ask me, it's been revisited so often because it works so well, what with it being intricate and nefarious. Also, take note of Carver's end goal: he doesn't want a prolonged war, or to take over a government (himself), but to gain exclusive rights to a billion-strong market. This goes to show how the dynamics of power have shifted after the Cold War. These days, it seems that the keys to the world are held not by heads of state, but by heads of corporations. So while Tomorrow Never Dies is nowhere near as insightful as Goldeneye before it, I still must deal out kudos to the writers for taking this into account. 5 out of 5.

Positives:
+ Many brilliant, if over-the-top, action setpieces.
+ Smart plot, even if it is a little derivative.
+ David Arnold's score and Sheryl Crow's theme song.

Negatives:
- Similar plot to that of You Only Live Twice or The Spy Who Loved Me.
- Johnathan Pryce is a campy villain.
- The potential of Teri Hatcher's character is wasted.

The Call: 80% (B)

IchigoRyu will return in
The World Is Not Enough

Film Review: GoldenEye

GoldenEye

• Publisher: MGM / United Artists
• Production Studio: Danjaq / EON Productions
• Release: 17 November 1995 (USA) / 24 November 1995 (UK)
• Genre: Action
• Director: Martin Campbell
• Producers: Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli
• Writers: Michael France, Jeffrey Caine, Kevin Wade, Bruce Feirstein

The Bond: Amid the legal wrangling that beseiged our franchise during the early 1990s, Timothy Dalton just up and quit in 1994. Once the parties involved got their collective act together and began work on a new movie, they drafted Pierce Brosnan (from Remington Steele, Mrs. Doubtfire) to replace him. (If you'll recall, he was considered for the role once before.) For better or worse, Pierce makes for the perfect film Bond; he handles all the things that the general moviegoing public (and the producers) would expect from one portraying 007. He portrays the high life with panache, can talk any woman he wants (except Moneypenny) under the covers with him, pull off action stunts (most of them by himself), and top them off with a one-liner, all with ease. On the other hand, he does little to distinguish his character apart from that familiar image. Compare that to interpretations from the likes of George Lazenby or Timothy Dalton, who never seemed as comfortable on the throne, so to speak, but delivered something unique to the role all the same. Pierce Brosnan happens to be the first Bond actor I ever saw on screen, and as such he was the perfect actor to get my feet wet with. 3 out of 5.

The Girls: Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco), a computer programmer. Natalya is one of those rare Bond Girls who isn't played for sex appeal, for the most part; her dominant role is a shell-shocked survivor of the raid at Severnaya. This leads to a rough relationship when she meets Bond, given that she has no one to trust at that point, even her best friend Boris, but of course she thaws out for him eventually. 4 out of 5.

Other Allies: Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker, from The Living Daylights) Bond's CIA contact in St. Petersburg and Cuba. Why they couldn't have just re-used Felix Leiter, I'll never know (Edit 25 Jan 2018: On further reflection, the events of Licence to Kill would have taken him out of the running), but hey, at least he's not J.W. Pepper. 1 out of 5. 

Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane, Harry Potter series), ex-KGB operative and current "legitimate businessman". The one thing I take issue with here is his alleged backstory, where as a KGB agent, he matched wits with 007 and got shot in the leg as a result. Having this mini-plot thrust upon us all of a sudden does little to establish his character apart from being yet another challenge for Bond to encounter, but his performance fills in some of the cracks. 3 out of 5.

M (Judi Dench, from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel), the new head of MI6, and 007's superior. Although the relationship between M and Bond has always been of the love-hate variety, takes the emotions to the extreme on both ends of the scale, even taking his traditional image down a notch:

M: You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers than your instincts.
Bond: The thought had occurred to me.
M: Good. Because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though lost on me, obviously appealed to that young girl I sent out to evaluate you.
Bond: Point taken.
M: Not quite, 007. If you think I don't have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong. I've no compunction about sending you to your death. But I won't do it on a whim. Even with your cavalier attitude towards life. [...] Bond... Come back alive.

Epic. Win. This passage here not only gives M a much-needed chance to air out her grievances, but deconstructs 007's politically-incorrect persona. Yet at the end, her wish for Bond to complete his mission and come back alive underscores the friendship they have when all is said and done. Ladies and gentlemen, the tsundere character type at its finest. Fun Fact: The casting of a female M was inspired by Stella Rimington, who became the director-general of the real MI5 in 1992. Second Fun Fact: According to the script, her real name is Barbara Maudsley. 5 out of 5.

Moneypenny has also been re-cast, played here by a stage actress named, ironically enough, Samantha Bond. Much like Judi Dench's M, this new Moneypenny represents a shift in the position of women in Her Majesty's Secret Service. She's no longer going to accept Bond making promises of dates and not following through with them. In fact, in her first appearance, she's just come back from a theatre date with another man. And feminism marches on... with her. 5 out of 5.

The Villains: Arkady Ouromov (Gottfried John), colonel and later general in the Russian Army. His loyalties are... in doubt. Either he's trying to become the next Stalin, and is visibly shocked at the reveal that Janus's parents were Cossacks (see below), or he's willing to secretly betray the Russian government in favour of a fat paycheck. ...Or both, you never know. Shot by Bond.  4 out of 5.

Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean, from Game of Thrones), former MI6 agent 006 and leader of the Janus crime syndicate. That the chief enemy this time around is none other than 007's former equal provides a new relationship dynamic never before seen in the series. For example, note that he is the first villain to refer to our hero as simply "James" instead of "Mr. Bond" or "007". Dropped off an antenna cradle by Bond, and subsequently crushed by said cradle. 5 out of 5.

Other Henchmen: Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen, from X-Men), a Georgian assassin who likes to kill victims by crushing with her thighs during sex. Given the more mundane approach taken for the other leading lady, I'm sure some of you might appreciate the relative glamour provided by Onatopp. Pinned to a tree and crushed by her harness, after the helicopter she was tied to was shot down by Bond. 4 out of 5.

Boris Grishenko (Alan Cumming, from Spy Kids), a computer programmer bought out by Janus. He may be played for comic relief, but you don't joke around with a guy who hacks into the FBI's mainframes in his spare time. Frozen alive by a liquid nitrogen explosion.   3 out of 5.

The Gadgets: A BMW Z3 with radar and (allegedly) Stinger missiles. This marks the first time that James Bond is presented with a non-British car (not counting the Toyota convertible used by his Japanese allies in You Only Live Twice). If you take offence to that, then you have the almighty pound/Deutschmark to blame; this was nothing more than a simple product-placement deal. Besides, the car gets very little use in the film, due to BMW only providing a prototype model which the film crew couldn't afford to damage in a real chase. (But never mind that, we've got a tank chase!) However, the classic Aston Martin DB5 is still in use as his personal car. 007 also uses a grappling-hook belt, a grenade pen, and with no explanation from Q, a laser-cutter watch. 2 out of 5.

The Locations: Russia (filmed in Switzerland, Russia, and England), Monaco, the United Kingdom (England), and Cuba (filmed in Puerto Rico).

The Theme Song: Performed by Tina Turner. The lyrics, written from the point of view of a female stalker, have little to do with the movie's plot, but work as a gender-swapped version of "Thunderball". The song is perhaps more famous for cheesy, Casio-grade synth horns and the over-the-top high notes Tina belts out at the end. 3 out of 5.

As badly-produced as that song is, it still has it better than the rest of the score, which was composed by Eric Serra (The Professional) and relies too much on cheap synth blasts and low-timbre kettle-drums. 1 out of 5.

The Opening Credits: With the passing of Maurice Binder, the opening credits for this film were designed by Daniel Kleinman, who put more of a focus on computer-generated graphics. The credits revolve around the collapse of the Soviet Union, and feature images such as silhouette girls breaking apart Soviet statues. Fun Fact: This last part did not amuse numerous communist parties, including the one in India, who advocated a boycott of the film. 5 out of 5. 

The Novel: GoldenEye was the first Bond film not to use any story elements from the Ian Fleming novels. The name, however, is shared with Fleming's vacation home in Jamaica, and a British contingency plan during World War II (to protect Gibraltar in case Spain allied with Nazi Germany), which Fleming himself developed.

Another item relevant to the plot is the Lienz Cossacks, a faction from the Soviet Union during World War II. Thing is, they aided the Nazis during their attempted invasion of Russia. Once the Germans were driven back and the war ended, the Cossacks surrendered to the British in the hopes of forgiveness and to ally against the Communists. They didn't get that; on the contrary, the British returned them to Stalin, who executed the lot. As Bond himself says, "Not exactly [the British's] finest hour".

The Plot: Our story starts in 1986, with 007 and Alec Trevelyan, agent 006, sneaking into a Soviet chemical weapons facility. As they plant explosives on some gas tanks, a squad led by Colonel Ouromov intercepts them and executes 006. His partner dead, 007 speeds up the bombs' timers (I call plot significance!) and escapes. Cue opening credits. We return nine years later to Monaco, where Bond notices a women on the roads and in the casino. According to MI6 intel, her name is Xenia Onatopp and she is linked to the terror group Janus. He investigates her the next morning, only for her to comandeer the Tiger, a helicopter immune to electromagnetic radiation, during a public demonstration.

The Tiger ends up at a Siberian satellite control bunker, where Onatopp and now-General Ouromov "borrow" the keys to the Goldeneye, two satellites armed with nuclear bombs. When detonated in space, they release an electromagnetic pulse, disabling all electronic machines (more explosively than in the real world, apparently). The set one off over the bunker to wipe out any trace of the crime, but leave behind a survivor: Natalya Simonova, a programmer. Meanwhile, in London, Bond and the new M monitor the situation from the MI6 HQ; she assigns him to investigate the Goldeneye theft.

In St. Petersburg, 007 meets up with CIA contact Jack Wade and "legitimate businessman" Valentin Zukovsky, setting up a shady business deal for the latter in exchange for what he knows about Janus: namely, that his parents are Lienz Cossacks (see "The Novel"). That night he meets with Onatopp, who had previously re-captured Natalya, and she takes him to meet Janus, who reveals himself as... Alec Trevelyan. He shares his reasons for betrayal, including his Cossack heritage and Bond short-setting the timers in Arkhangelsk, then leaves Bond and Natalya to die in the Tiger. They break free, but are taken and interrogated by the Russian Defence Ministry over the theft of the Goldeneye. Then Ouromov barges in, frames Bond for murder, and steals Natalya, but he gives chase in a tank across the streets of St. Petersburg. They lead him to a train where Trevelyan is hiding. He kills Ouromov and rescues Natalya again, but not before she learns that Janus is now operating out of Cuba.

Bond and Natalya fly over the Cuban jungle in search of a satellite dish, only to get shot down and face off against Onatopp. As the dish in question reveals itself, they sneak into the base below. They are captured, and Trevelyan reveals his plot: after electronically stealing money from the Bank of England, he intends to set off the other Goldeneye satellite, erasing any record of the crime and all other digital data stored about London. But it turns out Natalya had, before getting caught, managed to lock the satellite to fall out of orbit and crash harmlessly over the Atlantic Ocean. With the help of his pen grenade, Bond makes a break for the antenna cradle above, with Trevelyan giving chase. During the fight, he jams the cradle's mechanism so it cannot correct the satellite's orbit. The fight ends when Bond drops Trevelyan off a platform, the cradle explodes from its malfunction, and Bond gets outta there with the help of Natalya, Wade and the Marines. You are now free to turn off your TV.

The decline of the Soviet Union turned out to be not a roadblock for 007's writers, but a boon. That said, I do take issue with the odd plot hole here and there. For example, how could 007 not tell that 006 was not executed at Arkhangelsk, even from what appeared to be a point-blank gunshot, and was this a spur-of-the-moment ploy on Ouromov's part, or did he and Trevelyan plan it ahead of time? (Likely the latter, depending on when he was aware of his Cossack heritage, and thus, his desire to betray Her Majesty's government.) And then, we still have to deal with the soundtrack, which as I may have implied is cheesy at best and awful at worst. But these do little to overshadow the fact that this story gives audiences of all sorts what they crave whilst re-constructing James Bond's role for the 21st century. 4 out of 5.

Positives:
+ An honest attempt at adapting James Bond for 21st-century sensibilities.
+ The new M and Moneypenny.

Negatives:
- Pierce Brosnan's "generic" take on Bond.
- Where the heck is Felix Leiter?
- Eric Serra's soundtrack.

The Call: 90% (A-)

IchigoRyu will return in
Tomorrow Never Dies

Game Review: Target Terror

Target Terror

• Publisher: Raw Thrills (Arcade), Konami (Wii)
• Developer: Raw Thrills (Arcade), Leviathan (Wii)
• Release:
• Arcade, May 2004
• Wii, 22 April 2008
• Genre: Light-Gun Shooter
• Players: 1-2
• Rarity/Cost: Moderate, US$10-20

Here we go again... it's time once again to bring up Raw Thrills.  In the way I see the world, these guys take me back to the mid-90s, a time when two distinct art styles were fighting for control of the arcade game world: 3D-style polygons, pioneered by companies including Sega (Virtua Fighter, Virtua Cop) and Namco (Tekken, Time Crisis), and 2D digitised-actor art pioneered by Midway (Mortal Kombat, Area 51).  I gravitated towards the former, if only because at the time I was too young for the blood and gore coincidentally trumpeted by the latter camp, but before long my preferences sticked.  Now, fast-forward a decade, and combine that with how Raw Thrills' inferior racing title more or less overtook Sega's Initial D Arcade Stage series, and my opinion on the company soured pretty quickly.  And the moral of this story is...?  I will not buy American if I don't want to, whether the subject is video games, animation, cars, or pornography.  Or all four at once.  ...Which would be a fan-game based on Transformers: Kiss Players, so forget about it.


The graphics style is years behind the times,
but maybe that's just me.

But I brought up Raw Thrills again not just to make that joke, but to review their other claim to fame: the light-gun shooter Target Terror.  Also known in more sensitive settings by its Japanese title Target Force, it first released for arcades in 2004, and in 2008 got a port for the Wii courtesy of Konami.  This title serves as a spiritual successor to the nigh-identical Area 51 and Maximum Force by Midway, in that the graphics engine utilises chroma-keyed footage of actors as characters, put on top of a pre-rendered CG background.  I'll try to leave this aesthetic approach to personal taste, but it just doesn't work for me, even on a gameplay level - that's right, I'm going so far as to blame it for my difficulty in hitting targets correctly.  And yet this low-tech approach still doesn't save the game from occasional slow-down, if only on the Wii port.  But given that these backgrounds are on the technical level of those lame FMVs from PSone-era games, I was pleasantly surprised that there are breakable objects here and there, mostly in the form of windows.  Regarding the "actors", if I may be permitted to put on my film-critic hat for the moment...  You know what, I won't even bother, because their acting sucks no matter how you look at it, especially in the case of the blonde news anchor who kicks off each level.  Furthermore, the Wii version also lets you adjust the level of graphic violence, with the lowest setting replacing the blood with green paint, the characters' death animations getting cut off, and even explosive fuel barrels get replaced with equally explosive paint barrels.  Taking that with the rest of the game's presentation, it's almost the game is going for self-parody (knowing what they did with The Fast and The Furious, that wouldn't be out of the question), but that doesn't make it any less painful to sit through.  I'm a pragmatist, peoples.

As for how it is played, it's got many of your light-gun game cliches: shooting outside the screen to reload, shooting hostages takes away one life, yada yada.  And it can't even do that well: the enemies are arranged with little to no regard to logic or the flow of motion, and there is no indication as to when they will land a direct hit on you either.  Woe betide you when someone hits you with a melee attack after leaving you no time to react, which is an inevitability, trust me.  Alternate weapons are available to pick up as well, but of these, only the machine gun, shotgun, and explosive weapons are what I'd call useful.  The shocker and freeze ray are, in practise, nothing more than pistols with slower firing rates, and the flamethrower's fire takes a little while to hit the target; unfortunately, you don't always have "a little while".

Yet despite it all, it does do at least a few things I like.  You are able to reload your guns not only by pressing B while pointing off-screen, but also by shaking the Wii Remote. I will admit it is a nice touch, since it helps keep your focus on the action.  Also, there is the Justice Mode, wherein the player can use two guns/Wii Remotes at once.  Assuming you can get over the coordination issues inherent with throwing your non-dominant hand into the mix, it's generally a big help.  Come to think of it, this came out for the arcades right around the time Halo 2 came and made dual-wielding cool.  Considering that, plus the game's title and setting apparently designed to tap into post-9/11 paranoia...  Yup, they're trendwhores.

"Justice Mode" supports two controllers in a one-player game.

Further to its credit, Target Terror is longer than most light-gun games, something which the genre has always struggled with., but that's beside the point.  In total, there are ten levels, each broken up into two sections, for an running time of about one hour.  That's not long in the grand scheme of things, but considering I can clear the arcade modes of the Time Crisis games in about 20 minutes each, I have no choice but to call that improvement.  Now that I mention Time Crisis (a far better series, might I add), the Wii port shares the same continue system: you have a set number of continues to finish the game with (30 in this case, and even on the easy level, you'll need 'em all), but running out will give you more continues the next time you start a new game.

There are bonus games which you can access by completing certain tasks in-level, mainly of the destroying-objects sort. (NB: I cannot confirm their existence in the arcade version.) Oddly, these minigames start immediately after you clear the special objective, rather than waiting for the end of the stage.  I suppose that would dodge the problem of the game ending before the level end could be reached, but as it is, it still unsettlingly breaks the flow of the game, for what that's worth.  And the games themselves heap on the cheese even more than the rest of the game, should that even be possible.  There's one where you shoot terrorists as they try to push tied-up bikini girls into a vat of glowing green acid, and another where you take aim at terrorists in golf carts, an homage to another arcade mainstay, the Golden Tee golf series.  You get extra points from these minigames, but that's it.  In fact, that serves as a metaphor for the game as a whole - when you consider the presence of other, better shooters, they render Target Terror silly and pointless.

Control: 1 terrorist out of 5
Design: 2 terrorist out of 5
Graphics: 1 terrorist out of 5
Audio: 1 terrorist out of 5
The Call: 35% (F)

Film Review: Licence to Kill

Licence to Kill

• Publisher: MGM / United Artists
• Studio: Danjaq / EON Productions
• Release: 14 July 1989 (USA), 4 August 1989 (UK)
• Genre: Action
• Director: John Glen
• Producers: Albert R. Broccoli, Michael G. Wilson
• Writers: Michael G. Wilson, Richard Maibaum

The Girls: Pam Bouvier / Kennedy (Carey Lowell), a CIA informant working on the Sanchez case. Her chemistry with Bond is much rockier than most Bond Girls, since he's always brushing off her attempts to stay and help him. And I don't usually take this side in these situations, but I have to say... she's right. 3 out of 5.

Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto), Sanchez's girlfriend. In the beginning of the movie, she is beaten by Sanchez for cheating on her. Even though she willingly committed the infidelity (as far as we know), this scene, along with her subsequent aid for Bond in fighting against Sanchez, left my heart rooting for her. 5 out of 5.

Other Allies: Felix Leiter (David Hedison), 007's ally, now working for the DEA (US Drug Enforcement Agency). Note that this was the same guy who played the role in Live and Let Die.

Sharkey (Frank McRae), a boat-pilot and friend of Leiter's. Killed offscreen by some of Krest's henchmen. Essentially a copy of Quarrel Jnr from Live and Let Die, so why couldn't they have recycled him instead of creating a new character? 2 out of 5.

The Villains: Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi, from Showgirls), a fugitive, highly-connected drug lord. Far-removed from the take-over-the-world types of Bond villains, Sanchez is quite versatile in his personality, able to establish a good friendship with anybody who, to his knowledge, is not out to cross him. But if you are, then you really need to run like heck. Notice how Bond uses this temperament against him. Set on fire by Bond. 5 out of 5.

Other Henchmen: Milton Krest (Anthony Zerbe), Sanchez's partner in crime. He shows up drunk in one scene, yet for some reason feels that way for the entire movie. Blown up in a decompression chamber by Sanchez. 2 out of 5.

Dario (Benicio del Toro, from Star Wars: The Last Jedi), a young bodyguard of Sanchez's. Such a dangerously awesome man who was not given nearly enough screen time, given his potential and backstory with Pam. Dropped into a cocaine grinder by Bond and Pam. 4 out of 5. 

Truman-Lodge (Anthony Starke), Sanchez's financial adviser. Shot by Sanchez after one too many annoying comment on his losses - thank you, amigo. 1 out of 5.

Professor Joe Butcher (Wayne Newton); a comic-relief character, he heads the religious charity which serves as the cover for Sanchez's operations. The fact that he uses his catch phrase "Bless your heart!" instead of profanities should tell you all you need to know. 3 out of 5.

The Gadgets: A sniper rifle with a handprint-scanner lock disguised as a video camera, plastic explosives hidden in a tube of toothpaste, and a detonator in a pack of cigarettes. Fun Fact: The latter necessitated an anti-smoking warning during the end credits, and from then on, Bond was very seldom seen smoking. Pam accidentally demos an X-ray Polaroid camera with a laser gun, and Q uses a communicator broom in the field.  4 out of 5.

The Locations: The United States (Florida), and the fictional nation of Isthmus. Given the sensitive nature of the War on Drugs that was flaring up at the time, I'm sure the decision to use the second fictional nation in the film series was intentional. But for what it's worth, the name implies a location like Panama's, while the scenes here were filmed in Mexico and the flag is similar to, if not that of Guatemala.  Furthermore, when this story was revisited in the video game 007 Legends, it was explicitly set in Mexico.

The Theme Song: Performed by Gladys Knight. Unlike the last two theme songs, they chose a legacy artist this time around -- Knight hadn't put out a studio album for ten years -- and she gave us a prime example of late-80s R&B, if you're into that sort of thing.  I like it as a song, but not quite as a James Bond theme song, even if they do sneak in the horn riff from "Goldfinger".  And that line "I've got a license to kill / anyone who tries to tear us apart" is kinda creepy when you think about it, so... don't think about it. The end credits song is "If You Asked Me To" by Patti LaBelle, which is much the same. 3 out of 5.

The Opening Credits: Camera and casino motifs, with a lot of green and brown colours. Notably, the only opening sequence with product placement -- for Olympus cameras, which aren't even used in the film itself. 1 out of 5.

The Novel: Licence to Kill uses an original screenplay, but two aspects were borrowed from different books. The scene where Leiter is fed to sharks comes from 1954's Live and Let Die, and the character of Milton Krest comes from "The Hildebrand Rarity", a short story from 1960's For Your Eyes Only.

The Plot: Our story starts with Felix Leiter en route to his wedding, escorted by his best man James Bond, when some DEA agents intercept him, regarding a lead on the drugs kingpin Franz Sanchez. With 007's help, they capture him in mid-flight, with enough time to drop into the wedding. Cue opening credits. We return to Sanchez, who offers a US$2 million reward for whomever can free him. Ed Killifer, the federal agent guarding him, takes the offer and has him sprung out in transit. That night, some goons raid Leiter's home, killing his wife and taking him to be partially eaten by sharks.

007 scouts around the Florida Keys for places that deal in sharks, ending up at a marine laboratory run by a mister Milton Krest. That night he sneaks into the place, discovers some cocaine, and throws Killifer into the same shark tank that claimed Leiter's arm. Once the police discover his actions, Bond debriefs with M at the Hemingway House (of all places), where he resigns, officially abandoning his 00 status and licence to kill, but makes a break for it instead of going quietly. His next stop is the Wavekrest, a yacht owned by Krest, where he intercepts a drugs trade between Krest and Sanchez's camp, and flies off with US$5 million that was supposed to go to Sanchez. That done, he tracks down Pam Bouvier, Leiter's only living contact on the Sanchez case, at a bar in the Bimini Islands. After rescuing her from the henchman Dario, she agrees to fly him into the nation of Isthmus so he can go after Sanchez.

In Isthmus City, Bond spends some of the money at Sanchez's casino, attracting the attention of his girlfriend Lupe Lamora, and eventually the man himself. After scouting his office and gaining his trust, 007 sets up an assassination attempt on Sanchez. He catches Pam making some sort of deal, and tries to make the shot nonetheless, but is stopped by some ninja agents (!) from the Hong Kong Narcotics Bureau. They try to interrogate him, but he is rescued by the (Sanchez-bribed) police, and wakes up in Sanchez's villa. He suggests that Krest paid the assassin from the night before, and Lupa helps him escape. When Bond confronts Pam on what she was doing that night, she replies that she was trying to negotiate the return of some Stinger missiles Sanchez had bought, but the attack scared off the other party. That night, Krest arrives, 007 plants the drugs money in his yacht, and thinking he paid to have him killed, Sanchez kills Krest in a decompression chamber.

But 007's not out of the woods yet: he is escorted on a tour of Sanchez's drugs plant, along wih some Asian cartel leaders whom the man made a deal with. They are shown their product: a new type of crack cocaine that can be dissolved into gasoline for smuggling, and later be re-formed. Bond torches the place but is caught, and Dario leaves him to die in a grinder, only for Pam to come and kill him in turn. The two give chase, taking down the tankers one by one, until Bond is confronted by a petrol-soaked Sanchez. He sets him on fire with a lighter given to him by Felix Leiter at their wedding -- EPIC. WIN. We end with a party at the ex-Sanchez villa, where Bond sets Lupe up with the Isthmus president and hangs with Pam. You are now free to turn off your TV.

I'll admit it: this is among my favourite James Bond films of all time, definitely within the top five at least. As I grew more experienced in exploring the franchise, my interest shifted towards the more plot-driven films, generally from the 80s and 90s. And what a plot we have here. Experienced film buffs will draw parallels to, for example, Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo, in that the hero sows the seeds of distrust within the villain's organisation. And then you have side plots such as the one with the Stingers, which forces Bond to realise he can't just go down his narrow path of revenge without affecting the goals of other people. Of course, killing Sanchez fixes some of their problems, too. But the end results aren't pretty: among the more gruesome deaths, the stronger profanities, and the drugs references, this was the first James Bond to be rated a PG-13 in America and a 15 in Britain - and they still had to make a few cuts to avoid the next level up. But if it helped the writers take their job seriously, it paid off.

The Call: 90% (A-)

But the aftermath wasn't all good. After the release of Licence to Kill, the franchise suffered its longest hiatus to date, with six years separating this and the next Bond film. The primary reason was a lawsuit, where MGM/UA was bought out by Qintex with an intent to merge it with Pathe, but Danjaq (parent company of EON Productions) fought back to keep control of the franchise. I know, that's a lot of companies to remember. Not helping matters was LtK's relatively poor performance in America, having come after numerous summer blockbusters including Batman, Back to the Future Part II, Ghostbusters II, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, to name a few. When the series did bounce back, it would never again premiere in the summer season for that reason. For what it's worth, the franchise also had to deal with the 1991 dissolution of the Soviet Union, which had contributed to so many of the franchise's plotlines, and the deaths of numerous high-profile crew members, including screenwriter Richard Maibaum and opening titles designer Maurice Binder. But six years and one change of star later, James Bond came back better than ever, which we will learn about when...

IchigoRyu will return in
Goldeneye